Wednesday, October 19, 2011
College, Mommy-hood, Pages, Oh My!
So, as MOST of you have noticed I have been sparse lately, well, this is due to the fact that I am a FULL time nursing college student and single mother, and working from home as well as trying to maintain some form of a social life! Oh, and most importantly devoting my life to serving God. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but the whole reason I began blogging and my facebook page was because of this calling that God was yelling me in the face with. To reach out, to help others, to offer advice, to be there when someone needed it. When I was younger, I had that person in my life, who saved me from myself. I no longer talk to them, I haven't for years but they really saved me. I haven't always been close to God, in fact for a very long time, I pushed him out of my life, I thought I didn't need him, I was 14, until I was about 17, I realized that I needed God to get through my pregnancy, after that, he was pushed out until about January. I didn't pull him as close as I should have until not too long before I started this page/blog. I more recently, soon before I started college, really gave my life and promise to God. He is who I work for, live for and serve for. I have gotten the complaint my page has gotten too "christian-y" but that's me now, I am not going to hide it, and in fact I'd love to guide anyone to God who is willing. It's amazing how much easier life gets when you have someone who is always by your side, no matter what you do, you will always be forgiven by God. So if anyone wants to talk to me about this, I would love to council. It's part of my new goals. As well as college, which has been eating up a good portion of my time, but the good payoff? Straight A's!! So all the time I spend burning my brain out has been paying off! Which is exciting, at least to me haha! People have been asking me how I manage everything I do? I run 2 home businesses as well, which usually get done on weekends, when Ashlynn is at her dad's and when I have a slight break from homework!! I have been working on planning my days out in advance, I set aside time for each task that needs to be completed, and I ask for help from my parents to babysit when I have extra studying to be done. Time management is key these days! When I find time for my page? It's not as much as I like and a lot of the time I check it quick on my phone between classes or over lunch, and I try my best to keep up but it doesn't always happen everyday. Right now I should be studying for anatomy and doing my workbook, but I felt I really needed to get a new message out to my readers/followers. My life is crazy, and that's what you get for being a parent at a young age, but would I change a thing? I don't think so. I love college, and I love my daughter, even when things get tough, I know I am blessed and God has my back! It's all part of a greater plan and I'm along for the ride wherever it takes me now! So don't stress, and give it to God, he's got this!! No matter how busy I am I never ignore an email, so if you feel like you need that encouragement right now, or whenever and you need somebody, EMAIL ME! I may not know you, but I am here to listen, and help the best I can! That's just me, it's what I do and who I am. I would do anything for just about anyone, so please please please email me if you need that! thelifeofasingleteenmom@gmail.com .... do it! (No pressure :P) But seriously, I am here, whenever and however I can be! I love you all! ~Lisa
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Guilt
So basically all of the topics I was asked to write about, come back to the main idea of guilt. So this is what I will be talking about!!
Between working lots of hours, or going out, everyone is bound to feel guilty at some point. So I am going to break this down into 2 parts, working and going out.
Part one: Going out. EVERYONE needs to get out at some point. You can be the best mother in the world, but when you get worn down, you won't be! You won't be good to yourself or your child. You will be frustrated and easily annoyed, and little things will get to you. You need to get out, to be a better parent. Everyone needs time away from their kids to recharge. It's going to be hard, yes, but it something that needs to be done! You will have guilty feelings, I know when I go out I do. I feel like I'd rather be with Ashlynn. I think about her constantly, and text my mom to see what she is doing. But you need those moments, because if you never go out, then you never get a chance to recharge. Taking a break is normal, that's why babies have (or are intended to have) 2 parents. So if you don't have a helper, find one! You shouldn't feel guilty doing something that's going to make it better for both you and your baby/children.
Part two: Work. You have to work as a single parent. It's that simple, unless you want to live off your parents for the rest of your life. So its either working or going to school, or both. You are going to feel guilty for having to work and being away from your child for so long. I hate working 9 hour days and being gone from her, hate hate hate hateeeee it! But if you think about it, you are doing it to provide a better life for your child and to give them the things they need, so you are not a bad parent at all but in fact an excellent one. You are doing what you need to do to give your child the best life possible. You are doing more then the non existent dad is, so you should feel proud, not guilty.
I hope this helps at least a few people, I am scatterbrained tonight since I have been going off of little sleep this last week with a teething 9 month old (agggggggggggh!!) so make sure you keep posting your questions/comments/topics... I love hearing them!! <3 you all SOOO much! ~ Lisa!
Between working lots of hours, or going out, everyone is bound to feel guilty at some point. So I am going to break this down into 2 parts, working and going out.
Part one: Going out. EVERYONE needs to get out at some point. You can be the best mother in the world, but when you get worn down, you won't be! You won't be good to yourself or your child. You will be frustrated and easily annoyed, and little things will get to you. You need to get out, to be a better parent. Everyone needs time away from their kids to recharge. It's going to be hard, yes, but it something that needs to be done! You will have guilty feelings, I know when I go out I do. I feel like I'd rather be with Ashlynn. I think about her constantly, and text my mom to see what she is doing. But you need those moments, because if you never go out, then you never get a chance to recharge. Taking a break is normal, that's why babies have (or are intended to have) 2 parents. So if you don't have a helper, find one! You shouldn't feel guilty doing something that's going to make it better for both you and your baby/children.
Part two: Work. You have to work as a single parent. It's that simple, unless you want to live off your parents for the rest of your life. So its either working or going to school, or both. You are going to feel guilty for having to work and being away from your child for so long. I hate working 9 hour days and being gone from her, hate hate hate hateeeee it! But if you think about it, you are doing it to provide a better life for your child and to give them the things they need, so you are not a bad parent at all but in fact an excellent one. You are doing what you need to do to give your child the best life possible. You are doing more then the non existent dad is, so you should feel proud, not guilty.
I hope this helps at least a few people, I am scatterbrained tonight since I have been going off of little sleep this last week with a teething 9 month old (agggggggggggh!!) so make sure you keep posting your questions/comments/topics... I love hearing them!! <3 you all SOOO much! ~ Lisa!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
How to Survive Motherhood
This is a topic that I don't have a lot to say, but what I do is important! So here are a few rules for new mom's:
10. Have everything prepared before bringing home baby, you won't have time to after!
9. Stock up on essentials, going to the store is a huge chore
8. Keep a baby book!
7. Keep up on your household chores, have someone help out if you get behind
6. Set up a morning and nighttime routine
5. Don't let baby sleep in your bed, it's a horrible habit, get a bassinet if you want them close
4. Try to get on a schedule as soon as you can, (feed every 2 hours, nap, change diaper)
3. Nap when baby naps!
2. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!
1. Relax, have fun, and enjoy the cuddle time while you can!
Tips for experienced mothers:
*Take time for yourself every once and awhile, everyone need some alone time!
*Still don't be afraid to ask for help, plenty are willing to watch a cutie!
*Don't take time for granted, enjoy every minute of it!
*Single moms, don't be afraid to go on a date, you deserve it!
*Take time to go out and feel pretty, everyone needs it!
*Don't stress the little things (applies to both!!)
*Don't try to handle too much at once, take days off work if needed!
So I hope this helps a little, I am sure I am missing more but it's 1 am and I am tired... so goodnight! Go twitter @TeenMomBlog!!
10. Have everything prepared before bringing home baby, you won't have time to after!
9. Stock up on essentials, going to the store is a huge chore
8. Keep a baby book!
7. Keep up on your household chores, have someone help out if you get behind
6. Set up a morning and nighttime routine
5. Don't let baby sleep in your bed, it's a horrible habit, get a bassinet if you want them close
4. Try to get on a schedule as soon as you can, (feed every 2 hours, nap, change diaper)
3. Nap when baby naps!
2. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!
1. Relax, have fun, and enjoy the cuddle time while you can!
Tips for experienced mothers:
*Take time for yourself every once and awhile, everyone need some alone time!
*Still don't be afraid to ask for help, plenty are willing to watch a cutie!
*Don't take time for granted, enjoy every minute of it!
*Single moms, don't be afraid to go on a date, you deserve it!
*Take time to go out and feel pretty, everyone needs it!
*Don't stress the little things (applies to both!!)
*Don't try to handle too much at once, take days off work if needed!
So I hope this helps a little, I am sure I am missing more but it's 1 am and I am tired... so goodnight! Go twitter @TeenMomBlog!!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Medical Corner With Heather #1
So, introductions first, hi I’m Heather-Lisa’s older sister, and Lisa has asked me to do a mini blog on some topics from readers since I’m in medical school. I have to preface this blog with I am not a medical expert on any of these topics, but I do look up your questions and answer them with evidence based medicine like your doctor should do. Also, if anything seems to be emergent please see your doctor as I do not have the whole story sometimes and cannot make a physical diagnosis. OK, now that we have that out of the way let’s discuss my favorite topic: immunizations.
Should your child get them? A RESOUNDING YES, is the answer!! They are very important and will protect your child from some horrible viruses that used to ravage the world. Let’s talk about each immunization because knowledge is power and Jenny McCarthy is a blazing idiot.
MMR-Measles, mumps, and rubella, what are these? These are separate viruses. Measles can get pretty nasty affecting the respiratory system but starting as a rash all over your child and moving to fever, cough, red eyes, and runny nose. It is spread via air and is highly contagious. The fever can get up to 104, and several complications can be seen with this virus ranging from diarrhea all the way to encephalitis-inflammation of the brain! The complications become more severe the older you get as well. Mumps is a virus that attacks the parotid gland in your cheeks and they swell up. It is very painful, and there can be swelling of the testes with males which can cause infertility in older patients. Rubella-or German measles is a virus that only lasts 3 days and is mild unless you contract it while pregnant in the first 20 weeks then your child will have serious congenital problems. Although there is a lot of controversy around this immunization the CDC has done numerous tests and this is absolutely safe to give to your child and will not cause autism!! Administering the vaccines in three separate doses does not reduce the chance of adverse effects, and it increases the opportunity for infection by the other two diseases.
Moving right along, I will do a condensed version of the other immunizations, here is a chart showing the schedule that your child should follow:
Ok, so hepatitis B vaccine is now given to your child right at birth, why’s that you ask? Hepatitis B can cause very severe symptoms in people like lifelong infection, cirrhosis (scarring) of the liver, liver cancer, liver failure, and death. More than half of people infected with this disease show no signs or symptoms, but they may become chronic carriers of the disease and may develop liver disease or liver cancer later in life. Symptoms of HBV infection vary and may include loss of appetite, fatigue, nausea, and jaundice (yellow eyes and skin), joint pain, and skin rashes.
Worldwide, over 350 million people have chronic HBV infection, and approximately 1 million HBV patients die annually. An estimated 1.25 million people in the U.S. have chronic HBV infection. The younger the patient is when the disease is acquired, the more likely it is that he or she will develop chronic liver disease or liver cancer.
Approximately 90% of infants who are infected from their mothers at birth, and between 30 and 50% of those infected before age five, become chronic HBV carriers, while people who are newly infected as adults have only a 6 to 10% risk of chronic infection. For these reasons, hepatitis B immunizations are recommended for routine administration at birth.
DTAP-diptheria, tetanus, and pertussis are all horrible diseases as well, diptheria being another upper respiratory infection, pertussis is a whopping cough of the respiratory system and tetanus causing all the muscles of the body to contract and causes painful death. Overall, this is a wonderful vaccine that saves many lives.
Polio=enough said, this vaccine saves your child from losing the ability to walk because the virus affects the nerves and causes paralysis.
Hib, Haemophilus influenzae type B vaccine, is another virus that causes pneumonia, cellulitis, osteomyelitis, and bacterial meningitis. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you don’t skip this one!! (or any of them for that matter)
So before I bore you to death if you didn’t already stop reading this, the main point is vaccines were designed by scientists for a reason: to help save lives and to stop deadly diseases from spreading. Right now we are seeing too many parents deciding not to vaccinate and their kids end up coming to the pediatrician with these symptoms and there is not much we can do for them when they already contract the virus. Please, save your child from getting these and spreading these diseases by taking them to your pediatrician to get immunized!! They are NOT causing autism; the increase in autistic children is only because it is better diagnosed now.
Thanks for reading!
Heather
Make sure you follow on twitter and facebook!!! <3 Lisa
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Ear Piercing, Life After Boobs/Bottles, and Choices
So this blog is kind of a mishmash of topics that have been submitted today so I am going to try to address them all, this may get long and crazy, so bear with me... Also, in other exciting news, my sister will be writing a medical mini-blog in the next few days.... so that's exciting! Keep on the lookout for that!! So here it goes!
People who pierce their child's ears.... I already know this is controversial so, here it goes! I do not believe in piercing your children's ears until they are old enough (like 5) not to choke on them, or eat them or something scary like that. I have heard way too many horror stories of children losing the backs inside their ears, or swallowing pieces of them. Babies + sharp objects do not mix... so why would you put them in your child's body parts!! Why would you put your child through that pain when they are a baby? Ouch..... So to me, don't do it. Wait until they have a say in it, and are old enough to know not to choke on them, or be in danger from them.
Nutrition after bottles/breastfeeding: You can use the toddler formula with milk for added nutrition, or use whole milk or 2% milk. Baby food and any table food your child tolerates is just fine. Just make sure they are getting all of their food groups and you are fine! Ask your doctor or WIC office if you are concerned your child is missing out on something.
Choices... This is a tough one! Well, not really but for others yes. I was asked if my choice to keep Ashlynn was a hard one. My answer; no, not at all. I knew from the moment I was pregnant that she was mine and I loved her. (well, him or her! but I thought she was a girl!) There was never a moment where I doubted that I wanted her. I would have never put her up for adoption. For some people adoption is the best choice. If you aren't ready to give up your lifestyle or you are incapable of providing a good life for your child then sometimes adoption is the right choice. You have to weigh the choices that are right for you. Everyone is different, so meet with a counselor, and think everything through very closely. Not everybody is ready to be a parent, so consider your options.
Make sure you go follow on twitter @TeenMomBlog and on facebook "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" Thanks for reading and keep commenting and posting your topics! <3 Lisa
People who pierce their child's ears.... I already know this is controversial so, here it goes! I do not believe in piercing your children's ears until they are old enough (like 5) not to choke on them, or eat them or something scary like that. I have heard way too many horror stories of children losing the backs inside their ears, or swallowing pieces of them. Babies + sharp objects do not mix... so why would you put them in your child's body parts!! Why would you put your child through that pain when they are a baby? Ouch..... So to me, don't do it. Wait until they have a say in it, and are old enough to know not to choke on them, or be in danger from them.
Nutrition after bottles/breastfeeding: You can use the toddler formula with milk for added nutrition, or use whole milk or 2% milk. Baby food and any table food your child tolerates is just fine. Just make sure they are getting all of their food groups and you are fine! Ask your doctor or WIC office if you are concerned your child is missing out on something.
Choices... This is a tough one! Well, not really but for others yes. I was asked if my choice to keep Ashlynn was a hard one. My answer; no, not at all. I knew from the moment I was pregnant that she was mine and I loved her. (well, him or her! but I thought she was a girl!) There was never a moment where I doubted that I wanted her. I would have never put her up for adoption. For some people adoption is the best choice. If you aren't ready to give up your lifestyle or you are incapable of providing a good life for your child then sometimes adoption is the right choice. You have to weigh the choices that are right for you. Everyone is different, so meet with a counselor, and think everything through very closely. Not everybody is ready to be a parent, so consider your options.
Make sure you go follow on twitter @TeenMomBlog and on facebook "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" Thanks for reading and keep commenting and posting your topics! <3 Lisa
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Keeping Your Goals & Motivation
User posted question!!! "How to stay motivated and achieving your goals" ......... YAY! This is one I have strong feelings for as I just went through this whole phase in my life!! So here it goes!
After I had Ashlynn I was easily discouraged and didn't think I would ever make it to school. I had taken a year off between graduating high school and going to college, I had applied, but I hadn't done any of the requirements, I was honestly scared to death. I was supposed to start in January '11. Due to lack of child support and the fact I had to take 3 months off for maternity leave right before, I was sooo broke I couldn't do it. I was really upset, and I kept postponing it because I was afraid of failing. I did all the easy things little by little, but when it came to my big test I was SO afraid! I had studied before I had Ashlynn, and I thought I was doomed to fail, after I had heard horror stories from my friends who had failed it. But, my mom and sister pushed me to try and just do it, and so I studied again for the week and half prior, and went into that testing center prepared to fail. I went in and it was easier then I was expecting, which was good but I was so nervous. I walked out to get my results and when the lady told me how good I did I instantly felt 1309583049584 times better!!!! Point being, set your goals high, but possible. Only allow others who support your lifestyle choices and goals be in your life; if someone is going to be a "negative nelly" in your life, REMOVE them!! You can really do anything you push yourself to do. If you believe in it, then you can make it happen. It may take time, and lots of baby steps, but you will get there one way or another! There are always going to be 3 people that believe in you: God, me, and yourself. You should never lose the faith you have in yourself because you are who you make yourself! My motto for life is "Hope, Faith, and Love" if you have all of those things, you can get anywhere and do anything. So don't give up. You've got a great team on your side :] <3 Lisa
After I had Ashlynn I was easily discouraged and didn't think I would ever make it to school. I had taken a year off between graduating high school and going to college, I had applied, but I hadn't done any of the requirements, I was honestly scared to death. I was supposed to start in January '11. Due to lack of child support and the fact I had to take 3 months off for maternity leave right before, I was sooo broke I couldn't do it. I was really upset, and I kept postponing it because I was afraid of failing. I did all the easy things little by little, but when it came to my big test I was SO afraid! I had studied before I had Ashlynn, and I thought I was doomed to fail, after I had heard horror stories from my friends who had failed it. But, my mom and sister pushed me to try and just do it, and so I studied again for the week and half prior, and went into that testing center prepared to fail. I went in and it was easier then I was expecting, which was good but I was so nervous. I walked out to get my results and when the lady told me how good I did I instantly felt 1309583049584 times better!!!! Point being, set your goals high, but possible. Only allow others who support your lifestyle choices and goals be in your life; if someone is going to be a "negative nelly" in your life, REMOVE them!! You can really do anything you push yourself to do. If you believe in it, then you can make it happen. It may take time, and lots of baby steps, but you will get there one way or another! There are always going to be 3 people that believe in you: God, me, and yourself. You should never lose the faith you have in yourself because you are who you make yourself! My motto for life is "Hope, Faith, and Love" if you have all of those things, you can get anywhere and do anything. So don't give up. You've got a great team on your side :] <3 Lisa
Children's Shows...
So this is a surprise blog, that came out of the blue today, and there are some things I want to talk about that annoy me!! Children's shows.... Who comes up with these ideas?!?!?! I let Ashlynn watch Nick Jr. and some of these shows make me really angry!!! First off, "Dino Dan" that kid SEES dinosaurs.... If I were that child's mom I would be really concerned that my child is hallucinating these things, and either on meth/pot or has a brain tumor! Yet, she just goes with it... it's so messed up!! Second, "Olivia" that is one spoiled little brat pig, who does anything to get her way... why would they put that on tv?! It teaches kids horrible manners. Third, "Dora the Explorer" that show has soooo many sexual innuendo's it's insane! Some others that bother me just because they bother me are "Rescue Pets" because of the darn lispy duck, and "Peppa Pig" because they say the weirdest things and have to narrate everything that happens!! So that is just my rant for the day... enjoy!!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Build or Bust Your Child
So one of the things that drives me CRAZY is when parents insult their children!! When it's either "You're too fat" or "You look ugly like that." I get so sick of hearing stories of parents yelling at their children while they are total hypocrites!! When parents tell their children they are fat that really annoys me, its really their fault they are that way in the first place... If you don't want your child to get chubby then don't let them eat junk!!! It's really quite simple parenting, if you even care enough! Except for those parent's who call their children fat when they are really not fat at all. Like those parents who exploit their children on "Toddlers and Tiara's" that show reallllly knows how to push my buttons. Someone actually asked me if I would ever do that with Ashlynn since she is "so pretty" and I laughed in their face and asked them if they thought I was sick in the head. Even regular parents or family members who tell their kids they need to lose weight when they are skinny drives me crazy, why "bust" your child's confidence when you could be focusing on the positives about them? Build your child!! My mother has always told me that I am beautiful, smart, and wonderful even when I messed up. Even when your child makes mistakes, you have to encourage them, and love them unconditionally. Also, calling your child ugly is pretty much insulting yourself considering that they have your genes, and came from you in the first place... so that's kind of rude both ways... So think before you speak! You are building your child's future, and effecting them for the rest of their lives.
Soooooo, keep posting your topics and questions. If you aren't following on twitter, or facebook please do. Twitter (@TeenMomBlog) Facebook (The Life of a Single Teen Mom)... I removed the youtube account for awhile due to lots of drama going on... but I will keep writing. Good news, I start college in 49 days!! So exciting, Ashlynn will be 9 months on Thursday!! Yay!! So keep posting and commenting!! We are up to 323 likes on facebook! So keep sharing!! I <3 you guys!! ~Lisa~ (Ps, I enjoy exclamation marks!)
Soooooo, keep posting your topics and questions. If you aren't following on twitter, or facebook please do. Twitter (@TeenMomBlog) Facebook (The Life of a Single Teen Mom)... I removed the youtube account for awhile due to lots of drama going on... but I will keep writing. Good news, I start college in 49 days!! So exciting, Ashlynn will be 9 months on Thursday!! Yay!! So keep posting and commenting!! We are up to 323 likes on facebook! So keep sharing!! I <3 you guys!! ~Lisa~ (Ps, I enjoy exclamation marks!)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Free Time... What's That??
User question was this "the new you after baby, changes uve made by choice and obligation after baby came. Free time, what do u do with ur non mommy time. How to and when to ask for help and knowing its ok (this one is hard for me)"
The instant I found out I was pregnant everything changed for me. I changed who I associated myself with, the way I did things, my job, EVERYTHING. I gave up going to college for a year and friends. But that's what I had to do and I was ok with that. She is worth every single last thing that I had to give up. I would do it over in a heartbeat.
My non-mommy-time has been about 4 event excluding work, I don't really go out much mostly because nobody ever asks... but the few times I have its been like out to eat or a movie and the whole time I am just sitting thinking about her!! But you should never feel bad for taking time off, everyone needs it once and awhile.
Ask for help whenever you feel overwhelmed. It happens and is bound to happen to everyone. You should never feel bad to ask for help... most women have husbands that allow that "time off" and just because you don't have one does not mean you do not deserve that time. It's only not "ok" if you are doing this on a daily basis and for the wrong reasons (ie partying) so don't feel bad about asking for help, even I do it!
Keep posting your topics! <3 You all!! ~Lisa!
The instant I found out I was pregnant everything changed for me. I changed who I associated myself with, the way I did things, my job, EVERYTHING. I gave up going to college for a year and friends. But that's what I had to do and I was ok with that. She is worth every single last thing that I had to give up. I would do it over in a heartbeat.
My non-mommy-time has been about 4 event excluding work, I don't really go out much mostly because nobody ever asks... but the few times I have its been like out to eat or a movie and the whole time I am just sitting thinking about her!! But you should never feel bad for taking time off, everyone needs it once and awhile.
Ask for help whenever you feel overwhelmed. It happens and is bound to happen to everyone. You should never feel bad to ask for help... most women have husbands that allow that "time off" and just because you don't have one does not mean you do not deserve that time. It's only not "ok" if you are doing this on a daily basis and for the wrong reasons (ie partying) so don't feel bad about asking for help, even I do it!
Keep posting your topics! <3 You all!! ~Lisa!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
How to Raise YOUR Child; The RIGHT Way!
"Well when I had MY baby, I used cloth diapers, it's so much better for him." "Well, I use only organic baby food, you're poisoning them!" Tired of hearing other people telling you the "right way" to raise YOUR child? Well, welcome to motherhood!! Home of the women-who-think-they-can-do-it-better-then-you society. So from the time you get pregnant until you die, be prepared for judgment, and "advice." Honestly there is no right or wrong way to raise a child (aside from the obvious neglect of course). So do whatever you think is right and fits your family. There are going to be the women who think daycare is the end of the universe and if you put your kids there they are going to get sick and die... but hello! We are single mothers! Not super hero's! I personally do not put my child in daycare, but I am also not against it either. Even mothers who choose to work to help support their families, it is not a crime to work or to have to place your child in daycare. Every woman is going to bring her child up differently, based on their upbringing, not yours. Everyone is going to have different opinions and ideas of how to raise a child and you just can't let it get to you. I just ignore when people say "well I do this and this" unless I ask for their advice. Don't get me wrong, some advice is good advice, especially when you are not sure what to do in a certain situation. But don't feel obligated to take all of it to heart. Never let someone tell you are a bad mom based on the way you do things. So just simply tell them "thanks, but no thanks, I believe in doing things this way" and if they persist on it, just leave the situation! Take the good with the bad, but don't take it to heart! Everyone thinks they are right, so just smile and wave!! Ignore it if you have to, but there is no guaranteed way to make it stop! (Other then to maybe just punch them in the face and walk away? haha, I don't recommend that one though!)
SORRY for the delay in this blog, I know there are more topics, but life has just been crazy busy right now. If you did not see it on facebook I GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE! YAY!!! So, that's super exciting for me!! Also means I will be busy, but keep posting your topics and I will get to them ASAP! Thanks everyone, keep sharing the page!!! <3 Lisa!
SORRY for the delay in this blog, I know there are more topics, but life has just been crazy busy right now. If you did not see it on facebook I GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE! YAY!!! So, that's super exciting for me!! Also means I will be busy, but keep posting your topics and I will get to them ASAP! Thanks everyone, keep sharing the page!!! <3 Lisa!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
HATERS!!//Mega-rant!
***This is to address the comments and emails I have been getting!***
Haters gonna hate... I say this as I listen to Taylor Swift's "Mean" (I recommend you listen to it). I have been getting a lot of hate mail along with the good things lately. So I would like to take some time to explain myself. I am not here to sit and complain about my life. My life is GREAT. I love my daughter more than anything in the whole world and I spend all my time with her. Besides working (which is required, unless you want me to live off the government so you can b**** me out for that too!!) and when she is with her father. YES, OMG, she does spend time with him!! I don't "keep her from him" no, she goes to his house 3 times a week. When I blog, or do a 2-5 minute vlog she is usually sleeping or with him!! I don't "sit on my ass and complain about how much my life sucks all day" NO. You don't know me! You don't sit and watch me through the window ALL day. I watch my daughter, I don't just sit her in front of the tv all day, thank you very much. I do have to cook and clean, like any NORMAL mother!!! So yes, she occasionally does watch EDUCATIONAL tv!! When I vlog it takes a total of about 5-10 minutes MAX. So no, I don't neglect my child. I didn't create this page to complain about my life, I am simply SHARING my life experiences with other girls that need that to RELATE and need help, which is why they "liked" the page in the first page. Next, don't sit and tell me that my daughter is a blessing because I ALREADY know this. She is the greatest blessing in my whole life, and I love her, I do not complain about her. I am not super fond of her father, but if all of you knew the whole story behind him and I, YOU WOULDN'T EITHER... So don't judge me or my situation until you know the whole story. I am not going to sit and lie to my readers and say oh yes he is the number one dad ever!! I also never said that fathers have no rights. I simply said fathers don't have rights unless they step up and claim them, which some men never do. Every man is obliged to pay child support if they want to stick their d*** in a girl and take that risk. So don't tell me I'm a bad mother for needing that extra help!! I'm sorry I can't afford school, staying home to watch her and only getting to work 25ish hours a week. I am not a bad mother, when you can become a single father and give up your whole life, FRIENDS, activities, school, work, goals, EVERYTHING, then you can sit and tell me I am a terrible mom doing the devils work and filling girls with lies. No, this page was created so that I could bring awareness to the hardships teen pregnancy causes, and give support to teen mothers!!! Not so you stupid ignorant jerks could judge my life. You know what? If you don't like me, don't like the PAGE and don't read these or watch the vlogs, its REALLY that simple. Oh, and if you are going to insult me, please feel free to go back to school and learn how to spell your own family member's names, and how to spell or form proper sentences in general, that'd be sweet! Also, you should probably learn the truth before you go and judge someone you have never met. (Notice I am still not complaining about my life but about how annoying YOU are!) If you had any intellect you would realize that I don't need to be talked to about God because I quite frequently mention him in my blogs, and I am a Christian, I just choose not to shove it in everyone's face and piss people off which you seem to enjoy doing. So, you don't need to post on my blogs and my vlogs how much I suck as a mother because I already know I am a better mother then any of you will ever be fathers. So kill me for spending 5 minutes making a vlog that helps hundreds of girls, while you spend 5 minutes making a comment that makes only you feel good about yourself and makes someone else feel like shit. Yet you sit and call yourself a Christian? HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN EXACTLY?! I am not quite sure what bible you are reading, but perhaps you need to check out a new one. I am helping girls who may not have anyone else, and what are you doing to serve your purpose to God? Being a jerk? Trying to think you know it all? (The bible specifically says that's a NO-NO, do I need to give out verses?) This blog and facebook page is my calling from God. To help others. So if you don't like my advice or comments, the way I look or say things, then you know what? That is YOUR problem. Not mine. I have plenty of people who have my back. Yeah, you know what? I am going to be bitter about her father screwing me over for awhile and I am entitled to that. So go ahead and say all you want about me, but I know the truth and that's what really counts. I knew coming into this that I would have "haters" I just never thought that they would all be so stupid!!
So you know what? Feel free to call me whatever you want, because you know who the only person who knows the truth is? God. And who is the only one who can judge me? God. So call me a bad mom, a whore, a b****, a whiner, a devil, WHATEVER. I have enough to deal with in my life that I don't need your dumb comments, so at least have the balls to post your name when you post, and be ready to be removed from pages, I am not going to sit and take crap from anyone. I have been there and done that. Hey look, still not complaining about my life!!! There is a difference between telling a story and complaining, perhaps you go back to middle school and learn it and perhaps mature a little while your there!
Okay, rant finished. The "you" in this blog refers to multiple people, just so you all know. I'd rather not hear posts or comments if you are going to be negative, so only post happy posts here please. Make sure you go to the facebook page also! I will be back to answering fan questions on Monday or possibly Sunday. Sooo feel free to post those topics too! Sorry you all had to hear this, but people were asking, so here is your answer!! <3 Lisa
Haters gonna hate... I say this as I listen to Taylor Swift's "Mean" (I recommend you listen to it). I have been getting a lot of hate mail along with the good things lately. So I would like to take some time to explain myself. I am not here to sit and complain about my life. My life is GREAT. I love my daughter more than anything in the whole world and I spend all my time with her. Besides working (which is required, unless you want me to live off the government so you can b**** me out for that too!!) and when she is with her father. YES, OMG, she does spend time with him!! I don't "keep her from him" no, she goes to his house 3 times a week. When I blog, or do a 2-5 minute vlog she is usually sleeping or with him!! I don't "sit on my ass and complain about how much my life sucks all day" NO. You don't know me! You don't sit and watch me through the window ALL day. I watch my daughter, I don't just sit her in front of the tv all day, thank you very much. I do have to cook and clean, like any NORMAL mother!!! So yes, she occasionally does watch EDUCATIONAL tv!! When I vlog it takes a total of about 5-10 minutes MAX. So no, I don't neglect my child. I didn't create this page to complain about my life, I am simply SHARING my life experiences with other girls that need that to RELATE and need help, which is why they "liked" the page in the first page. Next, don't sit and tell me that my daughter is a blessing because I ALREADY know this. She is the greatest blessing in my whole life, and I love her, I do not complain about her. I am not super fond of her father, but if all of you knew the whole story behind him and I, YOU WOULDN'T EITHER... So don't judge me or my situation until you know the whole story. I am not going to sit and lie to my readers and say oh yes he is the number one dad ever!! I also never said that fathers have no rights. I simply said fathers don't have rights unless they step up and claim them, which some men never do. Every man is obliged to pay child support if they want to stick their d*** in a girl and take that risk. So don't tell me I'm a bad mother for needing that extra help!! I'm sorry I can't afford school, staying home to watch her and only getting to work 25ish hours a week. I am not a bad mother, when you can become a single father and give up your whole life, FRIENDS, activities, school, work, goals, EVERYTHING, then you can sit and tell me I am a terrible mom doing the devils work and filling girls with lies. No, this page was created so that I could bring awareness to the hardships teen pregnancy causes, and give support to teen mothers!!! Not so you stupid ignorant jerks could judge my life. You know what? If you don't like me, don't like the PAGE and don't read these or watch the vlogs, its REALLY that simple. Oh, and if you are going to insult me, please feel free to go back to school and learn how to spell your own family member's names, and how to spell or form proper sentences in general, that'd be sweet! Also, you should probably learn the truth before you go and judge someone you have never met. (Notice I am still not complaining about my life but about how annoying YOU are!) If you had any intellect you would realize that I don't need to be talked to about God because I quite frequently mention him in my blogs, and I am a Christian, I just choose not to shove it in everyone's face and piss people off which you seem to enjoy doing. So, you don't need to post on my blogs and my vlogs how much I suck as a mother because I already know I am a better mother then any of you will ever be fathers. So kill me for spending 5 minutes making a vlog that helps hundreds of girls, while you spend 5 minutes making a comment that makes only you feel good about yourself and makes someone else feel like shit. Yet you sit and call yourself a Christian? HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN EXACTLY?! I am not quite sure what bible you are reading, but perhaps you need to check out a new one. I am helping girls who may not have anyone else, and what are you doing to serve your purpose to God? Being a jerk? Trying to think you know it all? (The bible specifically says that's a NO-NO, do I need to give out verses?) This blog and facebook page is my calling from God. To help others. So if you don't like my advice or comments, the way I look or say things, then you know what? That is YOUR problem. Not mine. I have plenty of people who have my back. Yeah, you know what? I am going to be bitter about her father screwing me over for awhile and I am entitled to that. So go ahead and say all you want about me, but I know the truth and that's what really counts. I knew coming into this that I would have "haters" I just never thought that they would all be so stupid!!
So you know what? Feel free to call me whatever you want, because you know who the only person who knows the truth is? God. And who is the only one who can judge me? God. So call me a bad mom, a whore, a b****, a whiner, a devil, WHATEVER. I have enough to deal with in my life that I don't need your dumb comments, so at least have the balls to post your name when you post, and be ready to be removed from pages, I am not going to sit and take crap from anyone. I have been there and done that. Hey look, still not complaining about my life!!! There is a difference between telling a story and complaining, perhaps you go back to middle school and learn it and perhaps mature a little while your there!
Okay, rant finished. The "you" in this blog refers to multiple people, just so you all know. I'd rather not hear posts or comments if you are going to be negative, so only post happy posts here please. Make sure you go to the facebook page also! I will be back to answering fan questions on Monday or possibly Sunday. Sooo feel free to post those topics too! Sorry you all had to hear this, but people were asking, so here is your answer!! <3 Lisa
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
"Oh no, I'm pregnant"
I was given this topic by a user from the facebook page, who has a friend that is pregnant and doesn't know how to tell her family and wants him to be the father (I guess the father doesn't want to be involved)... I do have some strong opinions on this one! So buyer beware :D
As soon as you find out TELL your parents!!! Do not wait because that will only make it worse. If your mother is anything like mine she will be able to tell RIGHT away. My mom knew or had suspicions that I was pregnant before I even knew! The sooner you tell them the sooner you can get to the doctor and be getting proper care and the sooner you will have their support. It's better to tell them right off so they know you are at least being honest. In reality, I wish I would have told my mom I was even having sex before I got pregnant. (The timeline between me starting to have sex and getting pregnant were really close). If you are going to have sex in the first place GET ON BIRTH CONTROL... there are plenty of free clinics, and if you are going to be having sex know that you are taking the risk of becoming a parent, and if you are not 100% ready for that (which you are not until much later in life) then do NOT have sex! It's something that can wait, in all honesty if you want a real relationship leave out the sex, it will make it a whole lot more intimate actually. You don't need to have sex to make a man happy, and if that's the case, then he is NOT worth your time. But, back to topic... Just tell them as soon as you know, it makes everything much less complicated. Just sit them down and say "hey mom and/or dad, I need to tell you something. I had sex with (name) and now I am pregnant. I really need your help, advice and support" Expect tears, anger and questions. Its not going to be easy for anyone involved to deal with at first, but together you can get through it, admit your mistake rather then try to save your pride.
To the part about her wanting you to be the dad: First off, the biological father needs to be involved financially whether he wants the child or not. That is NOT your place. You have to know that taking on the responsibility of someones child is a hugeeee commitment. You have to have a lot of time to give up, and I personally don't recommend it. A newly pregnant girls experiences a lot of hormonal responses, they aren't going to know for sure what they want, and she is probably just looking for the easy way out. Chances are she is going to try to get back with the father and you will be left out with heartache... So personally I don't think it is a good idea. You can support her as a friend, but not as the father... you will never be the father unless you marry her and sign legal rights for the child. You can be a lot of things to her, but I say being the "father" is a really bad idea. Dating someone who is newly pregnant is also a bad idea, there are just too many things going on for it to be a good relationship. People may argue with me all they want, but that is the honest truth.
This may cause controversy... so go ahead and nag me, but this is MY opinion and everyone is entitled to their own.
Make sure you go and "like" the facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and check out the youtube channel for the vlogs http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Make sure to post your comments/questions and topics!! I love blogging for you all!! <3 Lisa
As soon as you find out TELL your parents!!! Do not wait because that will only make it worse. If your mother is anything like mine she will be able to tell RIGHT away. My mom knew or had suspicions that I was pregnant before I even knew! The sooner you tell them the sooner you can get to the doctor and be getting proper care and the sooner you will have their support. It's better to tell them right off so they know you are at least being honest. In reality, I wish I would have told my mom I was even having sex before I got pregnant. (The timeline between me starting to have sex and getting pregnant were really close). If you are going to have sex in the first place GET ON BIRTH CONTROL... there are plenty of free clinics, and if you are going to be having sex know that you are taking the risk of becoming a parent, and if you are not 100% ready for that (which you are not until much later in life) then do NOT have sex! It's something that can wait, in all honesty if you want a real relationship leave out the sex, it will make it a whole lot more intimate actually. You don't need to have sex to make a man happy, and if that's the case, then he is NOT worth your time. But, back to topic... Just tell them as soon as you know, it makes everything much less complicated. Just sit them down and say "hey mom and/or dad, I need to tell you something. I had sex with (name) and now I am pregnant. I really need your help, advice and support" Expect tears, anger and questions. Its not going to be easy for anyone involved to deal with at first, but together you can get through it, admit your mistake rather then try to save your pride.
To the part about her wanting you to be the dad: First off, the biological father needs to be involved financially whether he wants the child or not. That is NOT your place. You have to know that taking on the responsibility of someones child is a hugeeee commitment. You have to have a lot of time to give up, and I personally don't recommend it. A newly pregnant girls experiences a lot of hormonal responses, they aren't going to know for sure what they want, and she is probably just looking for the easy way out. Chances are she is going to try to get back with the father and you will be left out with heartache... So personally I don't think it is a good idea. You can support her as a friend, but not as the father... you will never be the father unless you marry her and sign legal rights for the child. You can be a lot of things to her, but I say being the "father" is a really bad idea. Dating someone who is newly pregnant is also a bad idea, there are just too many things going on for it to be a good relationship. People may argue with me all they want, but that is the honest truth.
This may cause controversy... so go ahead and nag me, but this is MY opinion and everyone is entitled to their own.
Make sure you go and "like" the facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and check out the youtube channel for the vlogs http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Make sure to post your comments/questions and topics!! I love blogging for you all!! <3 Lisa
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Last Names & Post-Baby Body!
So these are both user submitted topics that I am super excited to write about. I know I have been putting it off for a few days, but hey, I'm a mom... I'm allowed to be busy, right??! If you are following the facebook page, we are having a "dare" to post pics of your post-baby tummy. If we get 15 users to submit photos I will post mine! We only need 11 more the last time I checked!! So go get to it! (well, if your reading this on the correct day haha 6/12/11) Okay, so, here it goes!!
Last names: I believe that unless you are married to the man that you should give the baby YOUR LAST NAME. I strongly believe this. I have seen too many instances where they think they are going to get married (I was almost one of these) and end up giving the child his last name only to break up and have to go back and change it later. If you are not married, don't give them his last name. I do NOT care if you are planning on getting married, even if your engaged. Nope, nope, nope. Do not do it! There is too high of a chance for it to fall through, then you are stuck with the expenses of fixing the name or the constant nagging reminder of what could have been. My daughter has my last name, and I am very glad she does. He does not deserve to have this child named after him, not even close. When you get married it's a lot easier to change their name to match his then the reverse. So just don't do it, PLEASE.
Loving your post-baby body... Something easy to do... YEAH RIGHT. If anyone out there was like me, aka skinny as a freaking rail, then actually gaining some weight was like devastating to me! I hated being "chubby" but now my fiancee has half convinced me that my post baby body isn't all that bad (ok, he says its sexy, but I'm choosing to be stubborn)... I think that is something that every mom goes through, the feeling of "oh my gosh I'm horrible since I have this flabby tummy now!" Which is why I set up this dare, I want everyone to feel totally confident and sexy!! You know what girls? You ARE! You had a baby in your belly for 9 months, that is totally sexy! You should be proud of that body, it did an amazing thing! So don't be afraid to flaunt your body. There are plenty of nasty girls out there wearing bikini's who have never even had children so really, don't feel bad about yourself! BE PROUD!
Make sure you check out the facebook page and "like" it http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and go to the youtube channel and check out the vlogs! Keep posting your comments//topics and stories! I love them!! Thank you guys for making our page
reach 308 likes! Keep sharing! <3 Lisa!
Last names: I believe that unless you are married to the man that you should give the baby YOUR LAST NAME. I strongly believe this. I have seen too many instances where they think they are going to get married (I was almost one of these) and end up giving the child his last name only to break up and have to go back and change it later. If you are not married, don't give them his last name. I do NOT care if you are planning on getting married, even if your engaged. Nope, nope, nope. Do not do it! There is too high of a chance for it to fall through, then you are stuck with the expenses of fixing the name or the constant nagging reminder of what could have been. My daughter has my last name, and I am very glad she does. He does not deserve to have this child named after him, not even close. When you get married it's a lot easier to change their name to match his then the reverse. So just don't do it, PLEASE.
Loving your post-baby body... Something easy to do... YEAH RIGHT. If anyone out there was like me, aka skinny as a freaking rail, then actually gaining some weight was like devastating to me! I hated being "chubby" but now my fiancee has half convinced me that my post baby body isn't all that bad (ok, he says its sexy, but I'm choosing to be stubborn)... I think that is something that every mom goes through, the feeling of "oh my gosh I'm horrible since I have this flabby tummy now!" Which is why I set up this dare, I want everyone to feel totally confident and sexy!! You know what girls? You ARE! You had a baby in your belly for 9 months, that is totally sexy! You should be proud of that body, it did an amazing thing! So don't be afraid to flaunt your body. There are plenty of nasty girls out there wearing bikini's who have never even had children so really, don't feel bad about yourself! BE PROUD!
Make sure you check out the facebook page and "like" it http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and go to the youtube channel and check out the vlogs! Keep posting your comments//topics and stories! I love them!! Thank you guys for making our page
reach 308 likes! Keep sharing! <3 Lisa!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Postpartum Depression and Separation Anxiety
This was a user requested blog via Facebook, I am not an expert on this so I did some online research and used the site http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth.... I will post the research then post my opinion and such on it. :]
Postpartum:
"Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery."
The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:
Separation Anxiety: It's really hard for a mom especially at first when you had been with that child for nine months straight in your belly! It doesn't effect a child until 8-14 months of age typically because before that they don't have reccolection of what happens (ie when they drop a toy they don't look for it). I hated leaving and still do feel bad about it when I leave for work and she's sad or cries. She now is in the stage where she will be fine until she sees me walk in then instantly wants me to pick her up and screams until I do! I still don't like leaving her almost 8 months later! I avoid going out without her unless that is during the time she will be at her dad's. A lot of doctors don't recognize separtion anxiety in parents which is unfourtunate, because I think we suffer just as much as the children do!
I hope that helps, but remember you are NOT alone in this. Chances are someone else has been in almost the exact situation!
Make sure you go to the facebook page and like it and check out the youtube channel too!! Post your comments/questions/topics here or on facebook! I love to hear them!! Thanks everyone for blessing me with this chance to get my story out to all of you! You guys rock!! <3 Lisa
Postpartum:
"Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery."
The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:
- Agitation or irritability
- Changes in appetite
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Feeling withdrawn or unconnected
- Lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities
- Loss of concentration
- Loss of energy
- Problems doing tasks at home or work
- Negative feelings toward the baby
- Significant anxiety
- Thoughts of death or suicide
- Trouble sleeping
Separation Anxiety: It's really hard for a mom especially at first when you had been with that child for nine months straight in your belly! It doesn't effect a child until 8-14 months of age typically because before that they don't have reccolection of what happens (ie when they drop a toy they don't look for it). I hated leaving and still do feel bad about it when I leave for work and she's sad or cries. She now is in the stage where she will be fine until she sees me walk in then instantly wants me to pick her up and screams until I do! I still don't like leaving her almost 8 months later! I avoid going out without her unless that is during the time she will be at her dad's. A lot of doctors don't recognize separtion anxiety in parents which is unfourtunate, because I think we suffer just as much as the children do!
I hope that helps, but remember you are NOT alone in this. Chances are someone else has been in almost the exact situation!
Make sure you go to the facebook page and like it and check out the youtube channel too!! Post your comments/questions/topics here or on facebook! I love to hear them!! Thanks everyone for blessing me with this chance to get my story out to all of you! You guys rock!! <3 Lisa
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The "Other" Family....
So I was asked to write this blog by Jamie via Facebook. The question was "how to include the fathers family in your child's life when the father doesn't want to be in child's life at all?"
Well, this one is tricky. I'm sitting here kind of stumped! This is a first, usually I have something to say about everything! haha. Well. I would say let them be involved as much as they want to be. They are not the ones who screwed up. If that family respects you, and treats you both well, then I'd say let them see your child. Especially the Grandparents. I know my babies dad's family loves being involved with Ashlynn. He is also involved with her though. His parent's are separated but they both try to take time to spend time with her and love her. We are forced to split holidays which sucks, but I would make an effort to let your child to spend time even a little on some holidays. Let your child go over to their grandparents house when you run errands or go to class, or work some days. Most would be thrilled at that. So let them have the chance to see their family, because as much as we may hate it, they are related to the child too!
Make sure you check out the facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and the youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Keep posting questions/comments/stories! <3 Lisa!!
Well, this one is tricky. I'm sitting here kind of stumped! This is a first, usually I have something to say about everything! haha. Well. I would say let them be involved as much as they want to be. They are not the ones who screwed up. If that family respects you, and treats you both well, then I'd say let them see your child. Especially the Grandparents. I know my babies dad's family loves being involved with Ashlynn. He is also involved with her though. His parent's are separated but they both try to take time to spend time with her and love her. We are forced to split holidays which sucks, but I would make an effort to let your child to spend time even a little on some holidays. Let your child go over to their grandparents house when you run errands or go to class, or work some days. Most would be thrilled at that. So let them have the chance to see their family, because as much as we may hate it, they are related to the child too!
Make sure you check out the facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and the youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Keep posting questions/comments/stories! <3 Lisa!!
You know you're a mom when...
This is just something I feel inspired to write. It's meant to be humorous, so don't be offended! Although, I haven't had many people chasing me down trying to punch me for offended them yet. Metaphorically, of course :D This is just a short quick one... more to come later!
You know you're a (single) mom when you have more baby toys in your bed then you do pillows. No joke, I wake up and go, when the heck did she get this is my bed!? She doesn't even sleep with me! (anymore haha)
...When you consider buying baby clothes instead of something you need because they're just SOOO cute!!
...When you have stretch marks and your proud of them.
...When you think fathers day is a crime against humanity.
...When you have to consider how you are going to get ready and strategically plan your morning around your child's sleeping patterns
...When you kissed going out and partying goodbye the second you found out you had a wonderful blessing in your belly
...When you gave up your life to provide for a child, rather then ditching out and doing whatever you wanted
...When guys try to drive by you and wave then see you have a car seat in your car and drive away quickly
...When you would do anything to protect and care for your child
On a side note of stretch marks, (not trying to market anything just thought I would share a helpful hint!) I have been using the Mederma Stretch Marks Therapy lotion stuff, and it is working really well! Mine are starting to fade, so that is awesome. Trying to not make people throw up at the pool is one of my goals, haha. JK, my stretch marks aren't THAT bad. :D
Okay, I am going to write another blog and do a vlog tonight. Those of you who aren't on the facebook page, I am doing a vlog now so you can go subscribe to that via youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee is the link for the youtube channel... http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 is the link for the facebook page! so make sure to go and watch those and like the facebook page! Trying to get to 300 likes!! So keep sharing and keep posting. Let me know what you would like to to vlog and blog about! GIMME YER QUESTIONS YO!! ... ok... but really, questions, hit me!! <3 Lisa!!
You know you're a (single) mom when you have more baby toys in your bed then you do pillows. No joke, I wake up and go, when the heck did she get this is my bed!? She doesn't even sleep with me! (anymore haha)
...When you consider buying baby clothes instead of something you need because they're just SOOO cute!!
...When you have stretch marks and your proud of them.
...When you think fathers day is a crime against humanity.
...When you have to consider how you are going to get ready and strategically plan your morning around your child's sleeping patterns
...When you kissed going out and partying goodbye the second you found out you had a wonderful blessing in your belly
...When you gave up your life to provide for a child, rather then ditching out and doing whatever you wanted
...When guys try to drive by you and wave then see you have a car seat in your car and drive away quickly
...When you would do anything to protect and care for your child
On a side note of stretch marks, (not trying to market anything just thought I would share a helpful hint!) I have been using the Mederma Stretch Marks Therapy lotion stuff, and it is working really well! Mine are starting to fade, so that is awesome. Trying to not make people throw up at the pool is one of my goals, haha. JK, my stretch marks aren't THAT bad. :D
Okay, I am going to write another blog and do a vlog tonight. Those of you who aren't on the facebook page, I am doing a vlog now so you can go subscribe to that via youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee is the link for the youtube channel... http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 is the link for the facebook page! so make sure to go and watch those and like the facebook page! Trying to get to 300 likes!! So keep sharing and keep posting. Let me know what you would like to to vlog and blog about! GIMME YER QUESTIONS YO!! ... ok... but really, questions, hit me!! <3 Lisa!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Pregnancy, Tough Days & Awkward Dating Moments!
Okay, SO, I am PRETTY darn excited to write this blog today. So many fun topics, and I will be using a lot of humor! Hehehe :D I am just really hoping none of the guys that I dated (awkward dating moments) after I had Ashlynn are reading this... Although I know my fiancee is haha :]
Pregnancy!!! Wooohoo! Babies! That's how we all got in this situation, yes? Haha. I am just being random and hyper today, so just go with it ok?! Alright.... Where to even start!! I got pregnant and was considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of my Celiac disease, so my experiences may not apply to all of you! I had 4 ultrasounds in my pregnancy: 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks, and 32 weeks. I got HUGE like a WHALE and could barely stand up (haha no joke). At the end, well the last month or so I experienced false labor like the whole month and took many trips to the hospital. I knew at about 20 or so weeks that I would be having a C-section due to the fact I couldn't push a baby out or there would be some SERIOUS issues! So that was a great big ball of fun. I had Ashlynn by scheduled c-section at 39 weeks exactly. I went in at like 5 that morning (October 14th) and I sat and cried the whole time they were prepping me, aka I was FREAKING out. I was so scared and didn't think I was ready to have a baby. I think it's a lot different when you have the time to sit there and think about it verses when you are sitting there in labor going "get this baby the %^&* outta me!!" But I was extremely happy once she was out and in my arms, then the PAIN hit. Those of you who think you WANT a c-section, you be crazzzy. It feels like your skin is ripping apart at the seams and you can't do anything without it hurting worse than any pain I have ever felt in my life (I now laugh at people who think getting shots hurt and getting piercings, etc. I laugh in their FACE!!!) Recovery takes way longer and majorly sucks. I also breastfed until about a week ago when she stopped taking it. It made me lose a lot of weight super quick and allowed me to eat anything I wanted! I highly recommend it! It is also WAY easier than formula feeding. I hate formula!! Anything else, feel free to ask :]
Tough days... hmmm. There are quite a few days where I think I am going to lose my mind. Sometimes I just have to take a step back and breathe and look at my blessings. I have a great family, a beautiful daughter and a wonderful fiancee, if her dad wants to be a jerk, let him because I have a GREAT family without him! She is such a blessing she seems to make each and every day better. There are also the days where I just think "DANG I wish I would have just kept it in my pants and everything would be SOO much easier" but, even those days I can't imagine my life without Ashlynn, nor would I want it to be without her! So when you think you are at the end of your rope, step back and count your blessings and you may realize how great you really have it!
Awkward dating moments, or dating in general. I went on my first date in December (she was born in October) I was super nervous and awkward and felt terrible about leaving her since it was the first time I had been away from her for more then like 20 minutes. He was someone I was friends with pre-Ashlynn which made it a little easier, I spent most of the time texting my mom about her and/or telling him Ashlynn stories. We only hung out one other time after that, we decided we were at different points in our lives. The other guy I went on a date with, ended up meeting Ashlynn on the first date, she was a tag along. He was ok with her, but inevitably it didn't work out between us either. Then I met my fiancee, we met online and talked for along time before meeting, and he adores Ashlynn as much as I do. So I guess I got lucky in the sense that I didn't have to go on many dates before I found him. I think when you have kids it's almost easier to meet someone online, then they know at least what they are getting into before they get really involved. Here's a tip: when you are on the first date with a guy, it's typically NOT a good idea to bring up baby-poop stories... yeah... not so attractive I guess, even though it's a part of our daily lives!!
So that wraps that blog up! Be sure to follow on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. Make sure to post questions/comments and new blog topics. I am open to blogging about anything you throw at me! Keep sharing!! <3 Lisa!
Pregnancy!!! Wooohoo! Babies! That's how we all got in this situation, yes? Haha. I am just being random and hyper today, so just go with it ok?! Alright.... Where to even start!! I got pregnant and was considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of my Celiac disease, so my experiences may not apply to all of you! I had 4 ultrasounds in my pregnancy: 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks, and 32 weeks. I got HUGE like a WHALE and could barely stand up (haha no joke). At the end, well the last month or so I experienced false labor like the whole month and took many trips to the hospital. I knew at about 20 or so weeks that I would be having a C-section due to the fact I couldn't push a baby out or there would be some SERIOUS issues! So that was a great big ball of fun. I had Ashlynn by scheduled c-section at 39 weeks exactly. I went in at like 5 that morning (October 14th) and I sat and cried the whole time they were prepping me, aka I was FREAKING out. I was so scared and didn't think I was ready to have a baby. I think it's a lot different when you have the time to sit there and think about it verses when you are sitting there in labor going "get this baby the %^&* outta me!!" But I was extremely happy once she was out and in my arms, then the PAIN hit. Those of you who think you WANT a c-section, you be crazzzy. It feels like your skin is ripping apart at the seams and you can't do anything without it hurting worse than any pain I have ever felt in my life (I now laugh at people who think getting shots hurt and getting piercings, etc. I laugh in their FACE!!!) Recovery takes way longer and majorly sucks. I also breastfed until about a week ago when she stopped taking it. It made me lose a lot of weight super quick and allowed me to eat anything I wanted! I highly recommend it! It is also WAY easier than formula feeding. I hate formula!! Anything else, feel free to ask :]
Tough days... hmmm. There are quite a few days where I think I am going to lose my mind. Sometimes I just have to take a step back and breathe and look at my blessings. I have a great family, a beautiful daughter and a wonderful fiancee, if her dad wants to be a jerk, let him because I have a GREAT family without him! She is such a blessing she seems to make each and every day better. There are also the days where I just think "DANG I wish I would have just kept it in my pants and everything would be SOO much easier" but, even those days I can't imagine my life without Ashlynn, nor would I want it to be without her! So when you think you are at the end of your rope, step back and count your blessings and you may realize how great you really have it!
Awkward dating moments, or dating in general. I went on my first date in December (she was born in October) I was super nervous and awkward and felt terrible about leaving her since it was the first time I had been away from her for more then like 20 minutes. He was someone I was friends with pre-Ashlynn which made it a little easier, I spent most of the time texting my mom about her and/or telling him Ashlynn stories. We only hung out one other time after that, we decided we were at different points in our lives. The other guy I went on a date with, ended up meeting Ashlynn on the first date, she was a tag along. He was ok with her, but inevitably it didn't work out between us either. Then I met my fiancee, we met online and talked for along time before meeting, and he adores Ashlynn as much as I do. So I guess I got lucky in the sense that I didn't have to go on many dates before I found him. I think when you have kids it's almost easier to meet someone online, then they know at least what they are getting into before they get really involved. Here's a tip: when you are on the first date with a guy, it's typically NOT a good idea to bring up baby-poop stories... yeah... not so attractive I guess, even though it's a part of our daily lives!!
So that wraps that blog up! Be sure to follow on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. Make sure to post questions/comments and new blog topics. I am open to blogging about anything you throw at me! Keep sharing!! <3 Lisa!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Responsibility and Explanations
I was asked to blog about why Mothers have to take on all the responsibilities and how to explain to your child why you aren't together with the dad and where the dad is.
To start I will go with responsibilities. Why do Mothers get stuck with all the responsibilities, whether it be financially, or physically for the child. To me this is kind of a tough one... I wanted all of those responsibilities, personally. I would have rather he had not been there at all considering the things he did to us, and the fact he didn't even care about her until she was born. I don't mind the extra money to help out with her things now though. I guess being a mom that's what you sign up for. You can get child support and help with money, it's whether or not you choose to get those things. I choose to get them, so that helps me. I mean, if you don't want to be physically responsible for a child that's why there is adoption. I love having my daughter, she is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without her, she makes every day so much more special. In fact, today she said "mama" for the first time :] (Pretty proud lady right here!!!) But it isn't really fair that men get to enjoy the event, but don't have to stick around for the after party. I think a lot of them have no idea what they are missing out on, babies are the greatest blessings and the best things in life. I have seen total "Manly-men" go to mush over babies (it's quite hilarious), so they can't say that they "just don't like babies"... Seriously, who doesn't like babies? ESPECIALLY your own?!? That baby is a part of you, how can you not love and adore them? I have a theory though, that men either need to "Step-up or Step-out" which means, either you are completely there for your child or you are not there at all, its better to have one or the other so it doesn't leave the child wondering, which leads me to my next topic, explaining why he isn't there or your not together. I am going to one day have to explain to Ashlynn why me and her dad are not together. Not a conversation I am looking forward to. I will have to tell her that her dad and I had differences that we couldn't work out together, so we found other people who love her just as much as we do, or that we are separated so that everyone can be happy. Its extremely important to reassure the child that the reason you are not together is not their fault. (I have people who fight me on this one) It is not the child's fault that they were conceived, it was your guy's fault for having sex in the first place! If you aren't ready to have a child with said person, then don't have sex with them IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!!! When explaining this when the dad has never been involved, you will have to be honest, and say that while you love them more than anything in the world, their father was not ready to be involved yet, and if they had the chance to know the child the way you do, they would be just as much in love with the child. It will be a hard conversation whichever way you spin it, but you just have to be honest with them and make the conversation work for your situation. Just don't lie to the child so that you one day get caught in it and they don't resent you for it.
OK! Post your comments/questions/concerns/blog topics here or on facebook!!! Keep sharing stories! I <3 my fans! Keep liking and keep sharing. Find me on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. I will post again soon this time... PROMISE!! <3 Lisa!!
To start I will go with responsibilities. Why do Mothers get stuck with all the responsibilities, whether it be financially, or physically for the child. To me this is kind of a tough one... I wanted all of those responsibilities, personally. I would have rather he had not been there at all considering the things he did to us, and the fact he didn't even care about her until she was born. I don't mind the extra money to help out with her things now though. I guess being a mom that's what you sign up for. You can get child support and help with money, it's whether or not you choose to get those things. I choose to get them, so that helps me. I mean, if you don't want to be physically responsible for a child that's why there is adoption. I love having my daughter, she is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without her, she makes every day so much more special. In fact, today she said "mama" for the first time :] (Pretty proud lady right here!!!) But it isn't really fair that men get to enjoy the event, but don't have to stick around for the after party. I think a lot of them have no idea what they are missing out on, babies are the greatest blessings and the best things in life. I have seen total "Manly-men" go to mush over babies (it's quite hilarious), so they can't say that they "just don't like babies"... Seriously, who doesn't like babies? ESPECIALLY your own?!? That baby is a part of you, how can you not love and adore them? I have a theory though, that men either need to "Step-up or Step-out" which means, either you are completely there for your child or you are not there at all, its better to have one or the other so it doesn't leave the child wondering, which leads me to my next topic, explaining why he isn't there or your not together. I am going to one day have to explain to Ashlynn why me and her dad are not together. Not a conversation I am looking forward to. I will have to tell her that her dad and I had differences that we couldn't work out together, so we found other people who love her just as much as we do, or that we are separated so that everyone can be happy. Its extremely important to reassure the child that the reason you are not together is not their fault. (I have people who fight me on this one) It is not the child's fault that they were conceived, it was your guy's fault for having sex in the first place! If you aren't ready to have a child with said person, then don't have sex with them IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!!! When explaining this when the dad has never been involved, you will have to be honest, and say that while you love them more than anything in the world, their father was not ready to be involved yet, and if they had the chance to know the child the way you do, they would be just as much in love with the child. It will be a hard conversation whichever way you spin it, but you just have to be honest with them and make the conversation work for your situation. Just don't lie to the child so that you one day get caught in it and they don't resent you for it.
OK! Post your comments/questions/concerns/blog topics here or on facebook!!! Keep sharing stories! I <3 my fans! Keep liking and keep sharing. Find me on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. I will post again soon this time... PROMISE!! <3 Lisa!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
My History
So, I though for this blog I would just tell you a little about myself, my history and my inspiration for doing this. So here it goes :]
When I was 16 and at the end of my Sophomore year of high school I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Basically what that is, is the inability to digest wheat, rye and barley and your body attacks itself thinking that those are harmful things (also known as an autoimmune disease). So I went through a lot of hell that summer and the next year, I basically lost all my friends because I was always sick and never wanted to hang out. I started to pray and get closer to God at this point. I ended up going to school half days my junior year and teaching myself AP classes. That was a really really rough time in my life, and I was determined to make senior year better. It all started out good and that's when I met Ashlynn's dad, we will call him "X". X and I had algebra together and he tried to pick me up on a daily basis. My original goal was to join the Army reserves, until they wouldn't let me in because of my disease. So then X and I started dating and a few months later I was pregnant. He told me he wanted to marry me, so he was the first guy I had ever been with. I wasn't really into God very much at this point, as he tried to stray all my views from it. Then, he cheated, and we broke up the first time, we tried to make it work two more times, and the last time I was 8 months pregnant and he cheated with a so called friend, who he thought he had gotten pregnant, turns out she wasn't or she got an abortion... wouldn't surprise me since she had another one later on.... but that about sums that up so far.
About a month or so after I had Ashlynn I started getting back into my faith again. I did meet my fiancee through christianmingle.com and I am so thankful for that. We share pretty much all of the same ideas in our faith. Shortly after we started dating I figured out my calling from God is really to help others, and now I find that I can help others by bringing awareness to single teen parenting and teen pregnancy. I am so thankful that God has blessed me and keeps blessing me with my great fans! We are already up to 285 likes in less than a week! So everyone keep sharing, and keep posting. You guys rock!! You are the reason I keep doing this! I am so thankful!! So post your comments/questions/concerns/topics you want me to blog about. I am thinking about doing a vlog too... not sure how that would work out.... but ideas are welcome! I hope I am inspiring at least some of you out there, and hoping you spread the word about teen pregnancy... Thanks everyone!! Happy memorial day!!
When I was 16 and at the end of my Sophomore year of high school I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Basically what that is, is the inability to digest wheat, rye and barley and your body attacks itself thinking that those are harmful things (also known as an autoimmune disease). So I went through a lot of hell that summer and the next year, I basically lost all my friends because I was always sick and never wanted to hang out. I started to pray and get closer to God at this point. I ended up going to school half days my junior year and teaching myself AP classes. That was a really really rough time in my life, and I was determined to make senior year better. It all started out good and that's when I met Ashlynn's dad, we will call him "X". X and I had algebra together and he tried to pick me up on a daily basis. My original goal was to join the Army reserves, until they wouldn't let me in because of my disease. So then X and I started dating and a few months later I was pregnant. He told me he wanted to marry me, so he was the first guy I had ever been with. I wasn't really into God very much at this point, as he tried to stray all my views from it. Then, he cheated, and we broke up the first time, we tried to make it work two more times, and the last time I was 8 months pregnant and he cheated with a so called friend, who he thought he had gotten pregnant, turns out she wasn't or she got an abortion... wouldn't surprise me since she had another one later on.... but that about sums that up so far.
About a month or so after I had Ashlynn I started getting back into my faith again. I did meet my fiancee through christianmingle.com and I am so thankful for that. We share pretty much all of the same ideas in our faith. Shortly after we started dating I figured out my calling from God is really to help others, and now I find that I can help others by bringing awareness to single teen parenting and teen pregnancy. I am so thankful that God has blessed me and keeps blessing me with my great fans! We are already up to 285 likes in less than a week! So everyone keep sharing, and keep posting. You guys rock!! You are the reason I keep doing this! I am so thankful!! So post your comments/questions/concerns/topics you want me to blog about. I am thinking about doing a vlog too... not sure how that would work out.... but ideas are welcome! I hope I am inspiring at least some of you out there, and hoping you spread the word about teen pregnancy... Thanks everyone!! Happy memorial day!!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Boyfriends, Partying & Religion
So this blog is mostly responding to questions that I have been getting.... WARNING: This blog is pretty diverse so if you want to chew me out for reading it, then DON'T read it!!!
Topic 1: Boyfriends while pregnant. I was asked by a user if I think having a boyfriend while being pregnant who is NOT the father is ok. My response; yes. I do think that having a stable male in your life to support you while you are going through this extremely emotional time is perfectly ok. As long as he is helping you, emotionally, and not causing more drama in the relationship/your life I think it's a great idea. I wish that I could have had someone to depend on while I was pregnant. If he is willing to step in and take the father role and be financially there for you then more power to him! That is, if the biological father wants nothing to do with the child, if he does then I don't advise the new man being called "daddy." Why people think that you MUST be with the biological father no matter how crappy they are is beyond my knowledge (yes, I had a lady tell me I "HAD" to be with him because he is the father... how messed up is that!?) Obviously I did not take her advice and after Ashlynn was 3 months old I started to see other guys. I did not date while I was pregnant only because I was trying to work it out with her father at the time, and I did not find anyone who seemed decent enough to be with at the time. Am I glad I moved on and started seeing someone new? Yes, I don't believe anyone should be forced to stay with the father if he is not doing anything good for either of your lives.
Topic 2: Partying. Oh my goodness... this is one topic that sets me off the deep end. Teen mom's who go out and party ILLEGALLY all the time!! I know one girl who had a baby right around the time I did who is my age and about 90% of the time she isn't at work she is partying and ditches her child off with her mother and sister. That DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I understand getting out and needing some free time, but partying all the time is just plain stupid. It's like ASKING to get your child taken away. If you get caught in possession or with a DUI you are automatically in BIG trouble especially if the dad wants custody/rights. You choose to have this child, and to have sex (there is always adoption) so if you don't feel like you want to be a mom other then when it's convenient for you, choose adoption!! That child deserves to have a mom/dad that actually wants to spend time with them. So to sum up, going out and having some free time is ok; partying, especially underage, is not.
Topic 3: Religion. Yet another diverse subject. My main point here is going to be raising a child with two separated parents who have different ideas of religion. So in my family, we are huge Christians and that's the way I was raised my whole life, Sunday school EVERY Sunday. Her father on the other had, has never been baptized and started going to youth group on Wednesday nights a few months ago, other than that has stepped foot in church on rare occasion. I want to bring her up Christian with good values, so hopefully as time progresses he will support me in that. I am not implying that any of you need to have religious views or believe what I believe, this is just a question I was asked. I don't care honestly if you believe in God, or whatever else, this is just what I believe, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
I'd like to make a special side note that I am engaged, however we live currently in different states and don't get to see much of each other right now due to current working situations. He is not the father, and we met after Ashlynn was born. He is financially supportive of us as much as he can be, and he does love Ashlynn as well. I do believe it is ok to move on from the father to someone who loves and respects you.
Okay peeps! Post your questions/comments/concerns/new blog topics here or on my facebook page "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" looking forward to the responses from this one! (Sorry it took so long I worked a total of 22 hours this weekend, BLAH!) Give me some topics to rant and I will try to post another one tomorrow (Monday)!
Topic 1: Boyfriends while pregnant. I was asked by a user if I think having a boyfriend while being pregnant who is NOT the father is ok. My response; yes. I do think that having a stable male in your life to support you while you are going through this extremely emotional time is perfectly ok. As long as he is helping you, emotionally, and not causing more drama in the relationship/your life I think it's a great idea. I wish that I could have had someone to depend on while I was pregnant. If he is willing to step in and take the father role and be financially there for you then more power to him! That is, if the biological father wants nothing to do with the child, if he does then I don't advise the new man being called "daddy." Why people think that you MUST be with the biological father no matter how crappy they are is beyond my knowledge (yes, I had a lady tell me I "HAD" to be with him because he is the father... how messed up is that!?) Obviously I did not take her advice and after Ashlynn was 3 months old I started to see other guys. I did not date while I was pregnant only because I was trying to work it out with her father at the time, and I did not find anyone who seemed decent enough to be with at the time. Am I glad I moved on and started seeing someone new? Yes, I don't believe anyone should be forced to stay with the father if he is not doing anything good for either of your lives.
Topic 2: Partying. Oh my goodness... this is one topic that sets me off the deep end. Teen mom's who go out and party ILLEGALLY all the time!! I know one girl who had a baby right around the time I did who is my age and about 90% of the time she isn't at work she is partying and ditches her child off with her mother and sister. That DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I understand getting out and needing some free time, but partying all the time is just plain stupid. It's like ASKING to get your child taken away. If you get caught in possession or with a DUI you are automatically in BIG trouble especially if the dad wants custody/rights. You choose to have this child, and to have sex (there is always adoption) so if you don't feel like you want to be a mom other then when it's convenient for you, choose adoption!! That child deserves to have a mom/dad that actually wants to spend time with them. So to sum up, going out and having some free time is ok; partying, especially underage, is not.
Topic 3: Religion. Yet another diverse subject. My main point here is going to be raising a child with two separated parents who have different ideas of religion. So in my family, we are huge Christians and that's the way I was raised my whole life, Sunday school EVERY Sunday. Her father on the other had, has never been baptized and started going to youth group on Wednesday nights a few months ago, other than that has stepped foot in church on rare occasion. I want to bring her up Christian with good values, so hopefully as time progresses he will support me in that. I am not implying that any of you need to have religious views or believe what I believe, this is just a question I was asked. I don't care honestly if you believe in God, or whatever else, this is just what I believe, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
I'd like to make a special side note that I am engaged, however we live currently in different states and don't get to see much of each other right now due to current working situations. He is not the father, and we met after Ashlynn was born. He is financially supportive of us as much as he can be, and he does love Ashlynn as well. I do believe it is ok to move on from the father to someone who loves and respects you.
Okay peeps! Post your questions/comments/concerns/new blog topics here or on my facebook page "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" looking forward to the responses from this one! (Sorry it took so long I worked a total of 22 hours this weekend, BLAH!) Give me some topics to rant and I will try to post another one tomorrow (Monday)!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Visitation and New "Moms"
This blog is a response from my facebook wall. I was asked to write about when the father takes the child and when there is a new girlfriend involved. So here goes my rant!
As far as new girlfriends go, I am not a whole lot experienced with that, because my baby daddy has only had dates and not girlfriends and as far as I know (which isn't a whole lot) he hasn't had her around a lot of new girls. What I am going to post next is going off friends who have gone through this. I do know someone who had a divorce and when her ex started dating a new woman he told all his kids to call her "mommy". First off, if my BD ever even THINKS of saying that he will get a swift kick to the face and/or pants. I get that one day he will get over me and this idea that we are going to get back together (which will not happen, I am currently with a MUCH better man :D) and he will get a new girlfriend. I am honestly not comfortable with the idea, it scares me to death to think some weirdo girl (for all I know this potential girl could be nice I just have this ideal in my head) will have her grubby hands all over MY baby that I carried for 9 months, NOT her. I don't even want to cross that bridge! Ashlynn is getting to the point where she knows who people are and I don't want the poor child having to get used to a ton of random girls that he may or may not decide to bring into her life. I'm sure a lot of you reading this have baby daddy's who are the type who now just try to get with as many random girls as possible and don't care if the child has to meet 20 of them. However as mothers we are a lot more careful about who we introduce into our children's lives. After I had Ashlynn I went on a few dates but was scared to introduce her to any guys until I was sure about them. Which was one guy, the one I am with now, haha. So I imagine the heartbreak that you mothers go through when they are around new women, and when and if they eventually end up getting married to them and "replacing" you or trying to.
Visitation.... blahhh what a topic to speak about. In order for my story to make sense I need to give some background on my situation. Basically, he off and on wanted Ashlynn, and after she was born he decided he wanted to "half-assed" be a part of her life... he is getting better now, but he took me to court to get visitation rights and I am still paying off that bill. He gets her 3 days a week for a total of 12 hours in the week, if I am feeling nice I do let him have a little extra time. He has been stepping up more lately and buying things for her and that kind of thing, but there was a period of time where he brought her home hours early in poopy diapers and that kind of things... However, my emotions run high everytime he takes her. I feel sick to my stomach, and nervous and my heart breaks everytime she goes out the door, usually when he has her I am working though to try to take my mind off of it. but it still sucks and is emotionally very tough to do. To me I don't think it's physically possible for anyone to love her as much as I do, there is no bond like the bond between mother and child. We do share joint legal custody but I have primary physical.
Any questions? ASK! Let me know on here or on facebook what you want me to talk about next! I am open to rant about anything and everything, and I am ALWAYS here for advice!!
Love to you all!
Lisa :]
As far as new girlfriends go, I am not a whole lot experienced with that, because my baby daddy has only had dates and not girlfriends and as far as I know (which isn't a whole lot) he hasn't had her around a lot of new girls. What I am going to post next is going off friends who have gone through this. I do know someone who had a divorce and when her ex started dating a new woman he told all his kids to call her "mommy". First off, if my BD ever even THINKS of saying that he will get a swift kick to the face and/or pants. I get that one day he will get over me and this idea that we are going to get back together (which will not happen, I am currently with a MUCH better man :D) and he will get a new girlfriend. I am honestly not comfortable with the idea, it scares me to death to think some weirdo girl (for all I know this potential girl could be nice I just have this ideal in my head) will have her grubby hands all over MY baby that I carried for 9 months, NOT her. I don't even want to cross that bridge! Ashlynn is getting to the point where she knows who people are and I don't want the poor child having to get used to a ton of random girls that he may or may not decide to bring into her life. I'm sure a lot of you reading this have baby daddy's who are the type who now just try to get with as many random girls as possible and don't care if the child has to meet 20 of them. However as mothers we are a lot more careful about who we introduce into our children's lives. After I had Ashlynn I went on a few dates but was scared to introduce her to any guys until I was sure about them. Which was one guy, the one I am with now, haha. So I imagine the heartbreak that you mothers go through when they are around new women, and when and if they eventually end up getting married to them and "replacing" you or trying to.
Visitation.... blahhh what a topic to speak about. In order for my story to make sense I need to give some background on my situation. Basically, he off and on wanted Ashlynn, and after she was born he decided he wanted to "half-assed" be a part of her life... he is getting better now, but he took me to court to get visitation rights and I am still paying off that bill. He gets her 3 days a week for a total of 12 hours in the week, if I am feeling nice I do let him have a little extra time. He has been stepping up more lately and buying things for her and that kind of thing, but there was a period of time where he brought her home hours early in poopy diapers and that kind of things... However, my emotions run high everytime he takes her. I feel sick to my stomach, and nervous and my heart breaks everytime she goes out the door, usually when he has her I am working though to try to take my mind off of it. but it still sucks and is emotionally very tough to do. To me I don't think it's physically possible for anyone to love her as much as I do, there is no bond like the bond between mother and child. We do share joint legal custody but I have primary physical.
Any questions? ASK! Let me know on here or on facebook what you want me to talk about next! I am open to rant about anything and everything, and I am ALWAYS here for advice!!
Love to you all!
Lisa :]
Lots of likes!
Due to the growing demand on the facebook page I'm going to write a little tidbit today!! This page and blog is meant to bring awareness to teen pregnancy. Also, I want to be here to offer advice to girls who are teens and pregnant or mom's and need some help. I am so amazed at all the strong women who have been posting their stories on my facebook page... I had no idea there were so many of us out there at all different ages and points in our lives. I think it is super important for me to keep making these blogs and keep telling my story. At first it was really hard for me to share my situation because I felt stupid for making the choices I did. I was raised in a Christian home, and still am Christian to this day (but not the "I'm-gonna-hit-you-in-the-face-if-you-don't-agree-with-me" type) so when I got pregnant, with the first guy I had ever had sex with, I felt like a slut. I got called horrible names in my senior year of high school, and I spent a lot of time at home because I was too embarrassed to go to class. Irony is, a girl who kept a list of over 80 guys she had "conquered" called me a slut.... now she like 8 months pregnant... haha. (karma anyone?) Also, I'd like to throw my sense of humor out there too. I am not uptight about these issues and at this point I am willing to lay anything on the line to help someone out or avoid a situation, or heck, even if you just want to know go ahead and ask! No secrets here!! Sooo, keep posting and let me know what you would like to me to talk about next!!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Work & Money
So I know one of the things people commonly ask me is this: How do you deal with work and everything? My answer is pretty simple; I'm blessed to have a wonderful supportive family. I work nights (5-11) while my mom watches her (she works days). I also work 8 hour days on the weekends, so I am away from her a lot during that time (heartbreak </3). Her dad also takes her on Saturday's for 6 hours at this point... so working fills that void too! I work on average 30 hours a week, but once I start school I am going down to like 15 or so. I am lucky in the sense that my parents let me live with them, and pay for some of my living expenses, but a lot I handle on my own. I do get child support, which I encourage any girl to file for because even though it's a long process (at least where I live) it is worth it! It's way too hard to afford everything by yourself! Also file for WIC (women and infant children) through your state... They help with food for yourself and formula (although I encourage breastfeeding, I have been doing it for SEVEN months!... but I will go off on that tangent later) and baby food when they get to that point. So basically in the time I wasn't working I racked up a large credit card bill, but that was only 3 months during maternity. Now I am stuck paying that plus the fees of a lawyer since her dad decided he wanted part custody (again another tangent). But, there are daycares out there, and a lot of my friends I know jump at the chance to babysit my little cutie, so I don't find a reason single parents can't work other then sheer laziness, which just makes me mad!! A lot of it is time management, you have to plan your day, which being a teen is hard to think that far into the future, and you have to have a plan of goals you want to accomplish. For me, that is school (start in August of 11) and work. Once you get your goals in place, you will soar! As I say every blog, feel free to ask me ANY questions, I will answer as best as I can! Also check out my facebook page, you can also ask questions there (The Life of a Single Teen Mom).
I am going to try to be posting on here at LEAST 2 times a week! So try to keep up!!
I am going to try to be posting on here at LEAST 2 times a week! So try to keep up!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Introduction
Hi everyone :]
My name is Lisa, I am just going to use this first post to explain to everyone my goal of this blog and my facebook page!
If you read my info it says
So my point in doing everything is to tell people and kids about single teen parenting. I am not going to lie like "Teen Mom" and "16 & Pregnant" and make it look glam and easy, because that is SO not how it is. I will tell you this; single parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know people are first going to ask the story and I will tell you this; My daughter's father was the first guy I had ever "been" with and I was a senior in high school. We dated until about 3 months into the pregnancy when he started lying to me. He is involved in her life today, which is good, but we are not together. We are however working things out into a friendship. I am currently seeing someone else. Ashlynn Grace-Joan is now 7 months old and was born 10/14/10. We are going through the teething phase and it is NOT a fun one! I want anyone to feel free to ask me advice or ask me any question and I will answer 100% honestly. :]
My name is Lisa, I am just going to use this first post to explain to everyone my goal of this blog and my facebook page!
If you read my info it says
"I am 19 and live in SD. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 17, she was born when I was 18." |
So my point in doing everything is to tell people and kids about single teen parenting. I am not going to lie like "Teen Mom" and "16 & Pregnant" and make it look glam and easy, because that is SO not how it is. I will tell you this; single parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know people are first going to ask the story and I will tell you this; My daughter's father was the first guy I had ever "been" with and I was a senior in high school. We dated until about 3 months into the pregnancy when he started lying to me. He is involved in her life today, which is good, but we are not together. We are however working things out into a friendship. I am currently seeing someone else. Ashlynn Grace-Joan is now 7 months old and was born 10/14/10. We are going through the teething phase and it is NOT a fun one! I want anyone to feel free to ask me advice or ask me any question and I will answer 100% honestly. :]
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