This blog is a response from my facebook wall. I was asked to write about when the father takes the child and when there is a new girlfriend involved. So here goes my rant!
As far as new girlfriends go, I am not a whole lot experienced with that, because my baby daddy has only had dates and not girlfriends and as far as I know (which isn't a whole lot) he hasn't had her around a lot of new girls. What I am going to post next is going off friends who have gone through this. I do know someone who had a divorce and when her ex started dating a new woman he told all his kids to call her "mommy". First off, if my BD ever even THINKS of saying that he will get a swift kick to the face and/or pants. I get that one day he will get over me and this idea that we are going to get back together (which will not happen, I am currently with a MUCH better man :D) and he will get a new girlfriend. I am honestly not comfortable with the idea, it scares me to death to think some weirdo girl (for all I know this potential girl could be nice I just have this ideal in my head) will have her grubby hands all over MY baby that I carried for 9 months, NOT her. I don't even want to cross that bridge! Ashlynn is getting to the point where she knows who people are and I don't want the poor child having to get used to a ton of random girls that he may or may not decide to bring into her life. I'm sure a lot of you reading this have baby daddy's who are the type who now just try to get with as many random girls as possible and don't care if the child has to meet 20 of them. However as mothers we are a lot more careful about who we introduce into our children's lives. After I had Ashlynn I went on a few dates but was scared to introduce her to any guys until I was sure about them. Which was one guy, the one I am with now, haha. So I imagine the heartbreak that you mothers go through when they are around new women, and when and if they eventually end up getting married to them and "replacing" you or trying to.
Visitation.... blahhh what a topic to speak about. In order for my story to make sense I need to give some background on my situation. Basically, he off and on wanted Ashlynn, and after she was born he decided he wanted to "half-assed" be a part of her life... he is getting better now, but he took me to court to get visitation rights and I am still paying off that bill. He gets her 3 days a week for a total of 12 hours in the week, if I am feeling nice I do let him have a little extra time. He has been stepping up more lately and buying things for her and that kind of thing, but there was a period of time where he brought her home hours early in poopy diapers and that kind of things... However, my emotions run high everytime he takes her. I feel sick to my stomach, and nervous and my heart breaks everytime she goes out the door, usually when he has her I am working though to try to take my mind off of it. but it still sucks and is emotionally very tough to do. To me I don't think it's physically possible for anyone to love her as much as I do, there is no bond like the bond between mother and child. We do share joint legal custody but I have primary physical.
Any questions? ASK! Let me know on here or on facebook what you want me to talk about next! I am open to rant about anything and everything, and I am ALWAYS here for advice!!
Love to you all!
Lisa :]
a child only has one mother, and its the women who gave birth to her! I would kill my childs father if he ever told my daughter to call someone other than me Mommmy!
ReplyDeleteI also think letting an infant stay over somewhere without her/his mother shouldnt be done untill the baby is at least crawling. a baby needs its mother, ALOT! =]