User question was this "the new you after baby, changes uve made by choice and obligation after baby came. Free time, what do u do with ur non mommy time. How to and when to ask for help and knowing its ok (this one is hard for me)"
The instant I found out I was pregnant everything changed for me. I changed who I associated myself with, the way I did things, my job, EVERYTHING. I gave up going to college for a year and friends. But that's what I had to do and I was ok with that. She is worth every single last thing that I had to give up. I would do it over in a heartbeat.
My non-mommy-time has been about 4 event excluding work, I don't really go out much mostly because nobody ever asks... but the few times I have its been like out to eat or a movie and the whole time I am just sitting thinking about her!! But you should never feel bad for taking time off, everyone needs it once and awhile.
Ask for help whenever you feel overwhelmed. It happens and is bound to happen to everyone. You should never feel bad to ask for help... most women have husbands that allow that "time off" and just because you don't have one does not mean you do not deserve that time. It's only not "ok" if you are doing this on a daily basis and for the wrong reasons (ie partying) so don't feel bad about asking for help, even I do it!
Keep posting your topics! <3 You all!! ~Lisa!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
How to Raise YOUR Child; The RIGHT Way!
"Well when I had MY baby, I used cloth diapers, it's so much better for him." "Well, I use only organic baby food, you're poisoning them!" Tired of hearing other people telling you the "right way" to raise YOUR child? Well, welcome to motherhood!! Home of the women-who-think-they-can-do-it-better-then-you society. So from the time you get pregnant until you die, be prepared for judgment, and "advice." Honestly there is no right or wrong way to raise a child (aside from the obvious neglect of course). So do whatever you think is right and fits your family. There are going to be the women who think daycare is the end of the universe and if you put your kids there they are going to get sick and die... but hello! We are single mothers! Not super hero's! I personally do not put my child in daycare, but I am also not against it either. Even mothers who choose to work to help support their families, it is not a crime to work or to have to place your child in daycare. Every woman is going to bring her child up differently, based on their upbringing, not yours. Everyone is going to have different opinions and ideas of how to raise a child and you just can't let it get to you. I just ignore when people say "well I do this and this" unless I ask for their advice. Don't get me wrong, some advice is good advice, especially when you are not sure what to do in a certain situation. But don't feel obligated to take all of it to heart. Never let someone tell you are a bad mom based on the way you do things. So just simply tell them "thanks, but no thanks, I believe in doing things this way" and if they persist on it, just leave the situation! Take the good with the bad, but don't take it to heart! Everyone thinks they are right, so just smile and wave!! Ignore it if you have to, but there is no guaranteed way to make it stop! (Other then to maybe just punch them in the face and walk away? haha, I don't recommend that one though!)
SORRY for the delay in this blog, I know there are more topics, but life has just been crazy busy right now. If you did not see it on facebook I GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE! YAY!!! So, that's super exciting for me!! Also means I will be busy, but keep posting your topics and I will get to them ASAP! Thanks everyone, keep sharing the page!!! <3 Lisa!
SORRY for the delay in this blog, I know there are more topics, but life has just been crazy busy right now. If you did not see it on facebook I GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE! YAY!!! So, that's super exciting for me!! Also means I will be busy, but keep posting your topics and I will get to them ASAP! Thanks everyone, keep sharing the page!!! <3 Lisa!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
HATERS!!//Mega-rant!
***This is to address the comments and emails I have been getting!***
Haters gonna hate... I say this as I listen to Taylor Swift's "Mean" (I recommend you listen to it). I have been getting a lot of hate mail along with the good things lately. So I would like to take some time to explain myself. I am not here to sit and complain about my life. My life is GREAT. I love my daughter more than anything in the whole world and I spend all my time with her. Besides working (which is required, unless you want me to live off the government so you can b**** me out for that too!!) and when she is with her father. YES, OMG, she does spend time with him!! I don't "keep her from him" no, she goes to his house 3 times a week. When I blog, or do a 2-5 minute vlog she is usually sleeping or with him!! I don't "sit on my ass and complain about how much my life sucks all day" NO. You don't know me! You don't sit and watch me through the window ALL day. I watch my daughter, I don't just sit her in front of the tv all day, thank you very much. I do have to cook and clean, like any NORMAL mother!!! So yes, she occasionally does watch EDUCATIONAL tv!! When I vlog it takes a total of about 5-10 minutes MAX. So no, I don't neglect my child. I didn't create this page to complain about my life, I am simply SHARING my life experiences with other girls that need that to RELATE and need help, which is why they "liked" the page in the first page. Next, don't sit and tell me that my daughter is a blessing because I ALREADY know this. She is the greatest blessing in my whole life, and I love her, I do not complain about her. I am not super fond of her father, but if all of you knew the whole story behind him and I, YOU WOULDN'T EITHER... So don't judge me or my situation until you know the whole story. I am not going to sit and lie to my readers and say oh yes he is the number one dad ever!! I also never said that fathers have no rights. I simply said fathers don't have rights unless they step up and claim them, which some men never do. Every man is obliged to pay child support if they want to stick their d*** in a girl and take that risk. So don't tell me I'm a bad mother for needing that extra help!! I'm sorry I can't afford school, staying home to watch her and only getting to work 25ish hours a week. I am not a bad mother, when you can become a single father and give up your whole life, FRIENDS, activities, school, work, goals, EVERYTHING, then you can sit and tell me I am a terrible mom doing the devils work and filling girls with lies. No, this page was created so that I could bring awareness to the hardships teen pregnancy causes, and give support to teen mothers!!! Not so you stupid ignorant jerks could judge my life. You know what? If you don't like me, don't like the PAGE and don't read these or watch the vlogs, its REALLY that simple. Oh, and if you are going to insult me, please feel free to go back to school and learn how to spell your own family member's names, and how to spell or form proper sentences in general, that'd be sweet! Also, you should probably learn the truth before you go and judge someone you have never met. (Notice I am still not complaining about my life but about how annoying YOU are!) If you had any intellect you would realize that I don't need to be talked to about God because I quite frequently mention him in my blogs, and I am a Christian, I just choose not to shove it in everyone's face and piss people off which you seem to enjoy doing. So, you don't need to post on my blogs and my vlogs how much I suck as a mother because I already know I am a better mother then any of you will ever be fathers. So kill me for spending 5 minutes making a vlog that helps hundreds of girls, while you spend 5 minutes making a comment that makes only you feel good about yourself and makes someone else feel like shit. Yet you sit and call yourself a Christian? HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN EXACTLY?! I am not quite sure what bible you are reading, but perhaps you need to check out a new one. I am helping girls who may not have anyone else, and what are you doing to serve your purpose to God? Being a jerk? Trying to think you know it all? (The bible specifically says that's a NO-NO, do I need to give out verses?) This blog and facebook page is my calling from God. To help others. So if you don't like my advice or comments, the way I look or say things, then you know what? That is YOUR problem. Not mine. I have plenty of people who have my back. Yeah, you know what? I am going to be bitter about her father screwing me over for awhile and I am entitled to that. So go ahead and say all you want about me, but I know the truth and that's what really counts. I knew coming into this that I would have "haters" I just never thought that they would all be so stupid!!
So you know what? Feel free to call me whatever you want, because you know who the only person who knows the truth is? God. And who is the only one who can judge me? God. So call me a bad mom, a whore, a b****, a whiner, a devil, WHATEVER. I have enough to deal with in my life that I don't need your dumb comments, so at least have the balls to post your name when you post, and be ready to be removed from pages, I am not going to sit and take crap from anyone. I have been there and done that. Hey look, still not complaining about my life!!! There is a difference between telling a story and complaining, perhaps you go back to middle school and learn it and perhaps mature a little while your there!
Okay, rant finished. The "you" in this blog refers to multiple people, just so you all know. I'd rather not hear posts or comments if you are going to be negative, so only post happy posts here please. Make sure you go to the facebook page also! I will be back to answering fan questions on Monday or possibly Sunday. Sooo feel free to post those topics too! Sorry you all had to hear this, but people were asking, so here is your answer!! <3 Lisa
Haters gonna hate... I say this as I listen to Taylor Swift's "Mean" (I recommend you listen to it). I have been getting a lot of hate mail along with the good things lately. So I would like to take some time to explain myself. I am not here to sit and complain about my life. My life is GREAT. I love my daughter more than anything in the whole world and I spend all my time with her. Besides working (which is required, unless you want me to live off the government so you can b**** me out for that too!!) and when she is with her father. YES, OMG, she does spend time with him!! I don't "keep her from him" no, she goes to his house 3 times a week. When I blog, or do a 2-5 minute vlog she is usually sleeping or with him!! I don't "sit on my ass and complain about how much my life sucks all day" NO. You don't know me! You don't sit and watch me through the window ALL day. I watch my daughter, I don't just sit her in front of the tv all day, thank you very much. I do have to cook and clean, like any NORMAL mother!!! So yes, she occasionally does watch EDUCATIONAL tv!! When I vlog it takes a total of about 5-10 minutes MAX. So no, I don't neglect my child. I didn't create this page to complain about my life, I am simply SHARING my life experiences with other girls that need that to RELATE and need help, which is why they "liked" the page in the first page. Next, don't sit and tell me that my daughter is a blessing because I ALREADY know this. She is the greatest blessing in my whole life, and I love her, I do not complain about her. I am not super fond of her father, but if all of you knew the whole story behind him and I, YOU WOULDN'T EITHER... So don't judge me or my situation until you know the whole story. I am not going to sit and lie to my readers and say oh yes he is the number one dad ever!! I also never said that fathers have no rights. I simply said fathers don't have rights unless they step up and claim them, which some men never do. Every man is obliged to pay child support if they want to stick their d*** in a girl and take that risk. So don't tell me I'm a bad mother for needing that extra help!! I'm sorry I can't afford school, staying home to watch her and only getting to work 25ish hours a week. I am not a bad mother, when you can become a single father and give up your whole life, FRIENDS, activities, school, work, goals, EVERYTHING, then you can sit and tell me I am a terrible mom doing the devils work and filling girls with lies. No, this page was created so that I could bring awareness to the hardships teen pregnancy causes, and give support to teen mothers!!! Not so you stupid ignorant jerks could judge my life. You know what? If you don't like me, don't like the PAGE and don't read these or watch the vlogs, its REALLY that simple. Oh, and if you are going to insult me, please feel free to go back to school and learn how to spell your own family member's names, and how to spell or form proper sentences in general, that'd be sweet! Also, you should probably learn the truth before you go and judge someone you have never met. (Notice I am still not complaining about my life but about how annoying YOU are!) If you had any intellect you would realize that I don't need to be talked to about God because I quite frequently mention him in my blogs, and I am a Christian, I just choose not to shove it in everyone's face and piss people off which you seem to enjoy doing. So, you don't need to post on my blogs and my vlogs how much I suck as a mother because I already know I am a better mother then any of you will ever be fathers. So kill me for spending 5 minutes making a vlog that helps hundreds of girls, while you spend 5 minutes making a comment that makes only you feel good about yourself and makes someone else feel like shit. Yet you sit and call yourself a Christian? HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN EXACTLY?! I am not quite sure what bible you are reading, but perhaps you need to check out a new one. I am helping girls who may not have anyone else, and what are you doing to serve your purpose to God? Being a jerk? Trying to think you know it all? (The bible specifically says that's a NO-NO, do I need to give out verses?) This blog and facebook page is my calling from God. To help others. So if you don't like my advice or comments, the way I look or say things, then you know what? That is YOUR problem. Not mine. I have plenty of people who have my back. Yeah, you know what? I am going to be bitter about her father screwing me over for awhile and I am entitled to that. So go ahead and say all you want about me, but I know the truth and that's what really counts. I knew coming into this that I would have "haters" I just never thought that they would all be so stupid!!
So you know what? Feel free to call me whatever you want, because you know who the only person who knows the truth is? God. And who is the only one who can judge me? God. So call me a bad mom, a whore, a b****, a whiner, a devil, WHATEVER. I have enough to deal with in my life that I don't need your dumb comments, so at least have the balls to post your name when you post, and be ready to be removed from pages, I am not going to sit and take crap from anyone. I have been there and done that. Hey look, still not complaining about my life!!! There is a difference between telling a story and complaining, perhaps you go back to middle school and learn it and perhaps mature a little while your there!
Okay, rant finished. The "you" in this blog refers to multiple people, just so you all know. I'd rather not hear posts or comments if you are going to be negative, so only post happy posts here please. Make sure you go to the facebook page also! I will be back to answering fan questions on Monday or possibly Sunday. Sooo feel free to post those topics too! Sorry you all had to hear this, but people were asking, so here is your answer!! <3 Lisa
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
"Oh no, I'm pregnant"
I was given this topic by a user from the facebook page, who has a friend that is pregnant and doesn't know how to tell her family and wants him to be the father (I guess the father doesn't want to be involved)... I do have some strong opinions on this one! So buyer beware :D
As soon as you find out TELL your parents!!! Do not wait because that will only make it worse. If your mother is anything like mine she will be able to tell RIGHT away. My mom knew or had suspicions that I was pregnant before I even knew! The sooner you tell them the sooner you can get to the doctor and be getting proper care and the sooner you will have their support. It's better to tell them right off so they know you are at least being honest. In reality, I wish I would have told my mom I was even having sex before I got pregnant. (The timeline between me starting to have sex and getting pregnant were really close). If you are going to have sex in the first place GET ON BIRTH CONTROL... there are plenty of free clinics, and if you are going to be having sex know that you are taking the risk of becoming a parent, and if you are not 100% ready for that (which you are not until much later in life) then do NOT have sex! It's something that can wait, in all honesty if you want a real relationship leave out the sex, it will make it a whole lot more intimate actually. You don't need to have sex to make a man happy, and if that's the case, then he is NOT worth your time. But, back to topic... Just tell them as soon as you know, it makes everything much less complicated. Just sit them down and say "hey mom and/or dad, I need to tell you something. I had sex with (name) and now I am pregnant. I really need your help, advice and support" Expect tears, anger and questions. Its not going to be easy for anyone involved to deal with at first, but together you can get through it, admit your mistake rather then try to save your pride.
To the part about her wanting you to be the dad: First off, the biological father needs to be involved financially whether he wants the child or not. That is NOT your place. You have to know that taking on the responsibility of someones child is a hugeeee commitment. You have to have a lot of time to give up, and I personally don't recommend it. A newly pregnant girls experiences a lot of hormonal responses, they aren't going to know for sure what they want, and she is probably just looking for the easy way out. Chances are she is going to try to get back with the father and you will be left out with heartache... So personally I don't think it is a good idea. You can support her as a friend, but not as the father... you will never be the father unless you marry her and sign legal rights for the child. You can be a lot of things to her, but I say being the "father" is a really bad idea. Dating someone who is newly pregnant is also a bad idea, there are just too many things going on for it to be a good relationship. People may argue with me all they want, but that is the honest truth.
This may cause controversy... so go ahead and nag me, but this is MY opinion and everyone is entitled to their own.
Make sure you go and "like" the facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and check out the youtube channel for the vlogs http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Make sure to post your comments/questions and topics!! I love blogging for you all!! <3 Lisa
As soon as you find out TELL your parents!!! Do not wait because that will only make it worse. If your mother is anything like mine she will be able to tell RIGHT away. My mom knew or had suspicions that I was pregnant before I even knew! The sooner you tell them the sooner you can get to the doctor and be getting proper care and the sooner you will have their support. It's better to tell them right off so they know you are at least being honest. In reality, I wish I would have told my mom I was even having sex before I got pregnant. (The timeline between me starting to have sex and getting pregnant were really close). If you are going to have sex in the first place GET ON BIRTH CONTROL... there are plenty of free clinics, and if you are going to be having sex know that you are taking the risk of becoming a parent, and if you are not 100% ready for that (which you are not until much later in life) then do NOT have sex! It's something that can wait, in all honesty if you want a real relationship leave out the sex, it will make it a whole lot more intimate actually. You don't need to have sex to make a man happy, and if that's the case, then he is NOT worth your time. But, back to topic... Just tell them as soon as you know, it makes everything much less complicated. Just sit them down and say "hey mom and/or dad, I need to tell you something. I had sex with (name) and now I am pregnant. I really need your help, advice and support" Expect tears, anger and questions. Its not going to be easy for anyone involved to deal with at first, but together you can get through it, admit your mistake rather then try to save your pride.
To the part about her wanting you to be the dad: First off, the biological father needs to be involved financially whether he wants the child or not. That is NOT your place. You have to know that taking on the responsibility of someones child is a hugeeee commitment. You have to have a lot of time to give up, and I personally don't recommend it. A newly pregnant girls experiences a lot of hormonal responses, they aren't going to know for sure what they want, and she is probably just looking for the easy way out. Chances are she is going to try to get back with the father and you will be left out with heartache... So personally I don't think it is a good idea. You can support her as a friend, but not as the father... you will never be the father unless you marry her and sign legal rights for the child. You can be a lot of things to her, but I say being the "father" is a really bad idea. Dating someone who is newly pregnant is also a bad idea, there are just too many things going on for it to be a good relationship. People may argue with me all they want, but that is the honest truth.
This may cause controversy... so go ahead and nag me, but this is MY opinion and everyone is entitled to their own.
Make sure you go and "like" the facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and check out the youtube channel for the vlogs http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Make sure to post your comments/questions and topics!! I love blogging for you all!! <3 Lisa
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Last Names & Post-Baby Body!
So these are both user submitted topics that I am super excited to write about. I know I have been putting it off for a few days, but hey, I'm a mom... I'm allowed to be busy, right??! If you are following the facebook page, we are having a "dare" to post pics of your post-baby tummy. If we get 15 users to submit photos I will post mine! We only need 11 more the last time I checked!! So go get to it! (well, if your reading this on the correct day haha 6/12/11) Okay, so, here it goes!!
Last names: I believe that unless you are married to the man that you should give the baby YOUR LAST NAME. I strongly believe this. I have seen too many instances where they think they are going to get married (I was almost one of these) and end up giving the child his last name only to break up and have to go back and change it later. If you are not married, don't give them his last name. I do NOT care if you are planning on getting married, even if your engaged. Nope, nope, nope. Do not do it! There is too high of a chance for it to fall through, then you are stuck with the expenses of fixing the name or the constant nagging reminder of what could have been. My daughter has my last name, and I am very glad she does. He does not deserve to have this child named after him, not even close. When you get married it's a lot easier to change their name to match his then the reverse. So just don't do it, PLEASE.
Loving your post-baby body... Something easy to do... YEAH RIGHT. If anyone out there was like me, aka skinny as a freaking rail, then actually gaining some weight was like devastating to me! I hated being "chubby" but now my fiancee has half convinced me that my post baby body isn't all that bad (ok, he says its sexy, but I'm choosing to be stubborn)... I think that is something that every mom goes through, the feeling of "oh my gosh I'm horrible since I have this flabby tummy now!" Which is why I set up this dare, I want everyone to feel totally confident and sexy!! You know what girls? You ARE! You had a baby in your belly for 9 months, that is totally sexy! You should be proud of that body, it did an amazing thing! So don't be afraid to flaunt your body. There are plenty of nasty girls out there wearing bikini's who have never even had children so really, don't feel bad about yourself! BE PROUD!
Make sure you check out the facebook page and "like" it http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and go to the youtube channel and check out the vlogs! Keep posting your comments//topics and stories! I love them!! Thank you guys for making our page
reach 308 likes! Keep sharing! <3 Lisa!
Last names: I believe that unless you are married to the man that you should give the baby YOUR LAST NAME. I strongly believe this. I have seen too many instances where they think they are going to get married (I was almost one of these) and end up giving the child his last name only to break up and have to go back and change it later. If you are not married, don't give them his last name. I do NOT care if you are planning on getting married, even if your engaged. Nope, nope, nope. Do not do it! There is too high of a chance for it to fall through, then you are stuck with the expenses of fixing the name or the constant nagging reminder of what could have been. My daughter has my last name, and I am very glad she does. He does not deserve to have this child named after him, not even close. When you get married it's a lot easier to change their name to match his then the reverse. So just don't do it, PLEASE.
Loving your post-baby body... Something easy to do... YEAH RIGHT. If anyone out there was like me, aka skinny as a freaking rail, then actually gaining some weight was like devastating to me! I hated being "chubby" but now my fiancee has half convinced me that my post baby body isn't all that bad (ok, he says its sexy, but I'm choosing to be stubborn)... I think that is something that every mom goes through, the feeling of "oh my gosh I'm horrible since I have this flabby tummy now!" Which is why I set up this dare, I want everyone to feel totally confident and sexy!! You know what girls? You ARE! You had a baby in your belly for 9 months, that is totally sexy! You should be proud of that body, it did an amazing thing! So don't be afraid to flaunt your body. There are plenty of nasty girls out there wearing bikini's who have never even had children so really, don't feel bad about yourself! BE PROUD!
Make sure you check out the facebook page and "like" it http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and go to the youtube channel and check out the vlogs! Keep posting your comments//topics and stories! I love them!! Thank you guys for making our page
reach 308 likes! Keep sharing! <3 Lisa!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Postpartum Depression and Separation Anxiety
This was a user requested blog via Facebook, I am not an expert on this so I did some online research and used the site http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth.... I will post the research then post my opinion and such on it. :]
Postpartum:
"Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery."
The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:
Separation Anxiety: It's really hard for a mom especially at first when you had been with that child for nine months straight in your belly! It doesn't effect a child until 8-14 months of age typically because before that they don't have reccolection of what happens (ie when they drop a toy they don't look for it). I hated leaving and still do feel bad about it when I leave for work and she's sad or cries. She now is in the stage where she will be fine until she sees me walk in then instantly wants me to pick her up and screams until I do! I still don't like leaving her almost 8 months later! I avoid going out without her unless that is during the time she will be at her dad's. A lot of doctors don't recognize separtion anxiety in parents which is unfourtunate, because I think we suffer just as much as the children do!
I hope that helps, but remember you are NOT alone in this. Chances are someone else has been in almost the exact situation!
Make sure you go to the facebook page and like it and check out the youtube channel too!! Post your comments/questions/topics here or on facebook! I love to hear them!! Thanks everyone for blessing me with this chance to get my story out to all of you! You guys rock!! <3 Lisa
Postpartum:
"Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery."
The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:
- Agitation or irritability
- Changes in appetite
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Feeling withdrawn or unconnected
- Lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities
- Loss of concentration
- Loss of energy
- Problems doing tasks at home or work
- Negative feelings toward the baby
- Significant anxiety
- Thoughts of death or suicide
- Trouble sleeping
Separation Anxiety: It's really hard for a mom especially at first when you had been with that child for nine months straight in your belly! It doesn't effect a child until 8-14 months of age typically because before that they don't have reccolection of what happens (ie when they drop a toy they don't look for it). I hated leaving and still do feel bad about it when I leave for work and she's sad or cries. She now is in the stage where she will be fine until she sees me walk in then instantly wants me to pick her up and screams until I do! I still don't like leaving her almost 8 months later! I avoid going out without her unless that is during the time she will be at her dad's. A lot of doctors don't recognize separtion anxiety in parents which is unfourtunate, because I think we suffer just as much as the children do!
I hope that helps, but remember you are NOT alone in this. Chances are someone else has been in almost the exact situation!
Make sure you go to the facebook page and like it and check out the youtube channel too!! Post your comments/questions/topics here or on facebook! I love to hear them!! Thanks everyone for blessing me with this chance to get my story out to all of you! You guys rock!! <3 Lisa
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The "Other" Family....
So I was asked to write this blog by Jamie via Facebook. The question was "how to include the fathers family in your child's life when the father doesn't want to be in child's life at all?"
Well, this one is tricky. I'm sitting here kind of stumped! This is a first, usually I have something to say about everything! haha. Well. I would say let them be involved as much as they want to be. They are not the ones who screwed up. If that family respects you, and treats you both well, then I'd say let them see your child. Especially the Grandparents. I know my babies dad's family loves being involved with Ashlynn. He is also involved with her though. His parent's are separated but they both try to take time to spend time with her and love her. We are forced to split holidays which sucks, but I would make an effort to let your child to spend time even a little on some holidays. Let your child go over to their grandparents house when you run errands or go to class, or work some days. Most would be thrilled at that. So let them have the chance to see their family, because as much as we may hate it, they are related to the child too!
Make sure you check out the facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and the youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Keep posting questions/comments/stories! <3 Lisa!!
Well, this one is tricky. I'm sitting here kind of stumped! This is a first, usually I have something to say about everything! haha. Well. I would say let them be involved as much as they want to be. They are not the ones who screwed up. If that family respects you, and treats you both well, then I'd say let them see your child. Especially the Grandparents. I know my babies dad's family loves being involved with Ashlynn. He is also involved with her though. His parent's are separated but they both try to take time to spend time with her and love her. We are forced to split holidays which sucks, but I would make an effort to let your child to spend time even a little on some holidays. Let your child go over to their grandparents house when you run errands or go to class, or work some days. Most would be thrilled at that. So let them have the chance to see their family, because as much as we may hate it, they are related to the child too!
Make sure you check out the facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 and the youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee
Keep posting questions/comments/stories! <3 Lisa!!
You know you're a mom when...
This is just something I feel inspired to write. It's meant to be humorous, so don't be offended! Although, I haven't had many people chasing me down trying to punch me for offended them yet. Metaphorically, of course :D This is just a short quick one... more to come later!
You know you're a (single) mom when you have more baby toys in your bed then you do pillows. No joke, I wake up and go, when the heck did she get this is my bed!? She doesn't even sleep with me! (anymore haha)
...When you consider buying baby clothes instead of something you need because they're just SOOO cute!!
...When you have stretch marks and your proud of them.
...When you think fathers day is a crime against humanity.
...When you have to consider how you are going to get ready and strategically plan your morning around your child's sleeping patterns
...When you kissed going out and partying goodbye the second you found out you had a wonderful blessing in your belly
...When you gave up your life to provide for a child, rather then ditching out and doing whatever you wanted
...When guys try to drive by you and wave then see you have a car seat in your car and drive away quickly
...When you would do anything to protect and care for your child
On a side note of stretch marks, (not trying to market anything just thought I would share a helpful hint!) I have been using the Mederma Stretch Marks Therapy lotion stuff, and it is working really well! Mine are starting to fade, so that is awesome. Trying to not make people throw up at the pool is one of my goals, haha. JK, my stretch marks aren't THAT bad. :D
Okay, I am going to write another blog and do a vlog tonight. Those of you who aren't on the facebook page, I am doing a vlog now so you can go subscribe to that via youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee is the link for the youtube channel... http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 is the link for the facebook page! so make sure to go and watch those and like the facebook page! Trying to get to 300 likes!! So keep sharing and keep posting. Let me know what you would like to to vlog and blog about! GIMME YER QUESTIONS YO!! ... ok... but really, questions, hit me!! <3 Lisa!!
You know you're a (single) mom when you have more baby toys in your bed then you do pillows. No joke, I wake up and go, when the heck did she get this is my bed!? She doesn't even sleep with me! (anymore haha)
...When you consider buying baby clothes instead of something you need because they're just SOOO cute!!
...When you have stretch marks and your proud of them.
...When you think fathers day is a crime against humanity.
...When you have to consider how you are going to get ready and strategically plan your morning around your child's sleeping patterns
...When you kissed going out and partying goodbye the second you found out you had a wonderful blessing in your belly
...When you gave up your life to provide for a child, rather then ditching out and doing whatever you wanted
...When guys try to drive by you and wave then see you have a car seat in your car and drive away quickly
...When you would do anything to protect and care for your child
On a side note of stretch marks, (not trying to market anything just thought I would share a helpful hint!) I have been using the Mederma Stretch Marks Therapy lotion stuff, and it is working really well! Mine are starting to fade, so that is awesome. Trying to not make people throw up at the pool is one of my goals, haha. JK, my stretch marks aren't THAT bad. :D
Okay, I am going to write another blog and do a vlog tonight. Those of you who aren't on the facebook page, I am doing a vlog now so you can go subscribe to that via youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeofasingleteenmom?feature=mhee is the link for the youtube channel... http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Life-of-a-Single-Teen-Mom/195553280491274 is the link for the facebook page! so make sure to go and watch those and like the facebook page! Trying to get to 300 likes!! So keep sharing and keep posting. Let me know what you would like to to vlog and blog about! GIMME YER QUESTIONS YO!! ... ok... but really, questions, hit me!! <3 Lisa!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Pregnancy, Tough Days & Awkward Dating Moments!
Okay, SO, I am PRETTY darn excited to write this blog today. So many fun topics, and I will be using a lot of humor! Hehehe :D I am just really hoping none of the guys that I dated (awkward dating moments) after I had Ashlynn are reading this... Although I know my fiancee is haha :]
Pregnancy!!! Wooohoo! Babies! That's how we all got in this situation, yes? Haha. I am just being random and hyper today, so just go with it ok?! Alright.... Where to even start!! I got pregnant and was considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of my Celiac disease, so my experiences may not apply to all of you! I had 4 ultrasounds in my pregnancy: 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks, and 32 weeks. I got HUGE like a WHALE and could barely stand up (haha no joke). At the end, well the last month or so I experienced false labor like the whole month and took many trips to the hospital. I knew at about 20 or so weeks that I would be having a C-section due to the fact I couldn't push a baby out or there would be some SERIOUS issues! So that was a great big ball of fun. I had Ashlynn by scheduled c-section at 39 weeks exactly. I went in at like 5 that morning (October 14th) and I sat and cried the whole time they were prepping me, aka I was FREAKING out. I was so scared and didn't think I was ready to have a baby. I think it's a lot different when you have the time to sit there and think about it verses when you are sitting there in labor going "get this baby the %^&* outta me!!" But I was extremely happy once she was out and in my arms, then the PAIN hit. Those of you who think you WANT a c-section, you be crazzzy. It feels like your skin is ripping apart at the seams and you can't do anything without it hurting worse than any pain I have ever felt in my life (I now laugh at people who think getting shots hurt and getting piercings, etc. I laugh in their FACE!!!) Recovery takes way longer and majorly sucks. I also breastfed until about a week ago when she stopped taking it. It made me lose a lot of weight super quick and allowed me to eat anything I wanted! I highly recommend it! It is also WAY easier than formula feeding. I hate formula!! Anything else, feel free to ask :]
Tough days... hmmm. There are quite a few days where I think I am going to lose my mind. Sometimes I just have to take a step back and breathe and look at my blessings. I have a great family, a beautiful daughter and a wonderful fiancee, if her dad wants to be a jerk, let him because I have a GREAT family without him! She is such a blessing she seems to make each and every day better. There are also the days where I just think "DANG I wish I would have just kept it in my pants and everything would be SOO much easier" but, even those days I can't imagine my life without Ashlynn, nor would I want it to be without her! So when you think you are at the end of your rope, step back and count your blessings and you may realize how great you really have it!
Awkward dating moments, or dating in general. I went on my first date in December (she was born in October) I was super nervous and awkward and felt terrible about leaving her since it was the first time I had been away from her for more then like 20 minutes. He was someone I was friends with pre-Ashlynn which made it a little easier, I spent most of the time texting my mom about her and/or telling him Ashlynn stories. We only hung out one other time after that, we decided we were at different points in our lives. The other guy I went on a date with, ended up meeting Ashlynn on the first date, she was a tag along. He was ok with her, but inevitably it didn't work out between us either. Then I met my fiancee, we met online and talked for along time before meeting, and he adores Ashlynn as much as I do. So I guess I got lucky in the sense that I didn't have to go on many dates before I found him. I think when you have kids it's almost easier to meet someone online, then they know at least what they are getting into before they get really involved. Here's a tip: when you are on the first date with a guy, it's typically NOT a good idea to bring up baby-poop stories... yeah... not so attractive I guess, even though it's a part of our daily lives!!
So that wraps that blog up! Be sure to follow on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. Make sure to post questions/comments and new blog topics. I am open to blogging about anything you throw at me! Keep sharing!! <3 Lisa!
Pregnancy!!! Wooohoo! Babies! That's how we all got in this situation, yes? Haha. I am just being random and hyper today, so just go with it ok?! Alright.... Where to even start!! I got pregnant and was considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of my Celiac disease, so my experiences may not apply to all of you! I had 4 ultrasounds in my pregnancy: 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks, and 32 weeks. I got HUGE like a WHALE and could barely stand up (haha no joke). At the end, well the last month or so I experienced false labor like the whole month and took many trips to the hospital. I knew at about 20 or so weeks that I would be having a C-section due to the fact I couldn't push a baby out or there would be some SERIOUS issues! So that was a great big ball of fun. I had Ashlynn by scheduled c-section at 39 weeks exactly. I went in at like 5 that morning (October 14th) and I sat and cried the whole time they were prepping me, aka I was FREAKING out. I was so scared and didn't think I was ready to have a baby. I think it's a lot different when you have the time to sit there and think about it verses when you are sitting there in labor going "get this baby the %^&* outta me!!" But I was extremely happy once she was out and in my arms, then the PAIN hit. Those of you who think you WANT a c-section, you be crazzzy. It feels like your skin is ripping apart at the seams and you can't do anything without it hurting worse than any pain I have ever felt in my life (I now laugh at people who think getting shots hurt and getting piercings, etc. I laugh in their FACE!!!) Recovery takes way longer and majorly sucks. I also breastfed until about a week ago when she stopped taking it. It made me lose a lot of weight super quick and allowed me to eat anything I wanted! I highly recommend it! It is also WAY easier than formula feeding. I hate formula!! Anything else, feel free to ask :]
Tough days... hmmm. There are quite a few days where I think I am going to lose my mind. Sometimes I just have to take a step back and breathe and look at my blessings. I have a great family, a beautiful daughter and a wonderful fiancee, if her dad wants to be a jerk, let him because I have a GREAT family without him! She is such a blessing she seems to make each and every day better. There are also the days where I just think "DANG I wish I would have just kept it in my pants and everything would be SOO much easier" but, even those days I can't imagine my life without Ashlynn, nor would I want it to be without her! So when you think you are at the end of your rope, step back and count your blessings and you may realize how great you really have it!
Awkward dating moments, or dating in general. I went on my first date in December (she was born in October) I was super nervous and awkward and felt terrible about leaving her since it was the first time I had been away from her for more then like 20 minutes. He was someone I was friends with pre-Ashlynn which made it a little easier, I spent most of the time texting my mom about her and/or telling him Ashlynn stories. We only hung out one other time after that, we decided we were at different points in our lives. The other guy I went on a date with, ended up meeting Ashlynn on the first date, she was a tag along. He was ok with her, but inevitably it didn't work out between us either. Then I met my fiancee, we met online and talked for along time before meeting, and he adores Ashlynn as much as I do. So I guess I got lucky in the sense that I didn't have to go on many dates before I found him. I think when you have kids it's almost easier to meet someone online, then they know at least what they are getting into before they get really involved. Here's a tip: when you are on the first date with a guy, it's typically NOT a good idea to bring up baby-poop stories... yeah... not so attractive I guess, even though it's a part of our daily lives!!
So that wraps that blog up! Be sure to follow on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. Make sure to post questions/comments and new blog topics. I am open to blogging about anything you throw at me! Keep sharing!! <3 Lisa!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Responsibility and Explanations
I was asked to blog about why Mothers have to take on all the responsibilities and how to explain to your child why you aren't together with the dad and where the dad is.
To start I will go with responsibilities. Why do Mothers get stuck with all the responsibilities, whether it be financially, or physically for the child. To me this is kind of a tough one... I wanted all of those responsibilities, personally. I would have rather he had not been there at all considering the things he did to us, and the fact he didn't even care about her until she was born. I don't mind the extra money to help out with her things now though. I guess being a mom that's what you sign up for. You can get child support and help with money, it's whether or not you choose to get those things. I choose to get them, so that helps me. I mean, if you don't want to be physically responsible for a child that's why there is adoption. I love having my daughter, she is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without her, she makes every day so much more special. In fact, today she said "mama" for the first time :] (Pretty proud lady right here!!!) But it isn't really fair that men get to enjoy the event, but don't have to stick around for the after party. I think a lot of them have no idea what they are missing out on, babies are the greatest blessings and the best things in life. I have seen total "Manly-men" go to mush over babies (it's quite hilarious), so they can't say that they "just don't like babies"... Seriously, who doesn't like babies? ESPECIALLY your own?!? That baby is a part of you, how can you not love and adore them? I have a theory though, that men either need to "Step-up or Step-out" which means, either you are completely there for your child or you are not there at all, its better to have one or the other so it doesn't leave the child wondering, which leads me to my next topic, explaining why he isn't there or your not together. I am going to one day have to explain to Ashlynn why me and her dad are not together. Not a conversation I am looking forward to. I will have to tell her that her dad and I had differences that we couldn't work out together, so we found other people who love her just as much as we do, or that we are separated so that everyone can be happy. Its extremely important to reassure the child that the reason you are not together is not their fault. (I have people who fight me on this one) It is not the child's fault that they were conceived, it was your guy's fault for having sex in the first place! If you aren't ready to have a child with said person, then don't have sex with them IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!!! When explaining this when the dad has never been involved, you will have to be honest, and say that while you love them more than anything in the world, their father was not ready to be involved yet, and if they had the chance to know the child the way you do, they would be just as much in love with the child. It will be a hard conversation whichever way you spin it, but you just have to be honest with them and make the conversation work for your situation. Just don't lie to the child so that you one day get caught in it and they don't resent you for it.
OK! Post your comments/questions/concerns/blog topics here or on facebook!!! Keep sharing stories! I <3 my fans! Keep liking and keep sharing. Find me on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. I will post again soon this time... PROMISE!! <3 Lisa!!
To start I will go with responsibilities. Why do Mothers get stuck with all the responsibilities, whether it be financially, or physically for the child. To me this is kind of a tough one... I wanted all of those responsibilities, personally. I would have rather he had not been there at all considering the things he did to us, and the fact he didn't even care about her until she was born. I don't mind the extra money to help out with her things now though. I guess being a mom that's what you sign up for. You can get child support and help with money, it's whether or not you choose to get those things. I choose to get them, so that helps me. I mean, if you don't want to be physically responsible for a child that's why there is adoption. I love having my daughter, she is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without her, she makes every day so much more special. In fact, today she said "mama" for the first time :] (Pretty proud lady right here!!!) But it isn't really fair that men get to enjoy the event, but don't have to stick around for the after party. I think a lot of them have no idea what they are missing out on, babies are the greatest blessings and the best things in life. I have seen total "Manly-men" go to mush over babies (it's quite hilarious), so they can't say that they "just don't like babies"... Seriously, who doesn't like babies? ESPECIALLY your own?!? That baby is a part of you, how can you not love and adore them? I have a theory though, that men either need to "Step-up or Step-out" which means, either you are completely there for your child or you are not there at all, its better to have one or the other so it doesn't leave the child wondering, which leads me to my next topic, explaining why he isn't there or your not together. I am going to one day have to explain to Ashlynn why me and her dad are not together. Not a conversation I am looking forward to. I will have to tell her that her dad and I had differences that we couldn't work out together, so we found other people who love her just as much as we do, or that we are separated so that everyone can be happy. Its extremely important to reassure the child that the reason you are not together is not their fault. (I have people who fight me on this one) It is not the child's fault that they were conceived, it was your guy's fault for having sex in the first place! If you aren't ready to have a child with said person, then don't have sex with them IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!!! When explaining this when the dad has never been involved, you will have to be honest, and say that while you love them more than anything in the world, their father was not ready to be involved yet, and if they had the chance to know the child the way you do, they would be just as much in love with the child. It will be a hard conversation whichever way you spin it, but you just have to be honest with them and make the conversation work for your situation. Just don't lie to the child so that you one day get caught in it and they don't resent you for it.
OK! Post your comments/questions/concerns/blog topics here or on facebook!!! Keep sharing stories! I <3 my fans! Keep liking and keep sharing. Find me on facebook @ The Life of a Single Teen Mom. I will post again soon this time... PROMISE!! <3 Lisa!!
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