Guilt

So basically all of the topics I was asked to write about, come back to the main idea of guilt. So this is what I will be talking about!!
Between working lots of hours, or going out, everyone is bound to feel guilty at some point. So I am going to break this down into 2 parts, working and going out.
Part one: Going out. EVERYONE needs to get out at some point. You can be the best mother in the world, but when you get worn down, you won't be! You won't be good to yourself or your child. You will be frustrated and easily annoyed, and little things will get to you. You need to get out, to be a better parent. Everyone needs time away from their kids to recharge. It's going to be hard, yes, but it something that needs to be done! You will have guilty feelings, I know when I go out I do. I feel like I'd rather be with Ashlynn. I think about her constantly, and text my mom to see what she is doing. But you need those moments, because if you never go out, then you never get a chance to recharge. Taking a break is normal, that's why babies have (or are intended to have) 2 parents. So if you don't have a helper, find one! You shouldn't feel guilty doing something that's going to make it better for both you and your baby/children.

Part two: Work. You have to work as a single parent. It's that simple, unless you want to live off your parents for the rest of your life. So its either working or going to school, or both. You are going to feel guilty for having to work and being away from your child for so long. I hate working 9 hour days and being gone from her, hate hate hate hateeeee it! But if you think about it, you are doing it to provide a better life for your child and to give them the things they need, so you are not a bad parent at all but in fact an excellent one. You are doing what you need to do to give your child the best life possible. You are doing more then the non existent dad is, so you should feel proud, not guilty.

I hope this helps at least a few people, I am scatterbrained tonight since I have been going off of little sleep this last week with a teething 9 month old (agggggggggggh!!) so make sure you keep posting your questions/comments/topics... I love hearing them!! <3 you all SOOO much! ~ Lisa!

How to Survive Motherhood

This is a topic that I don't have a lot to say, but what I do is important! So here are a few rules for new mom's:
10. Have everything prepared before bringing home baby, you won't have time to after!
9. Stock up on essentials, going to the store is a huge chore
8. Keep a baby book!
7. Keep up on your household chores, have someone help out if you get behind
6. Set up a morning and nighttime routine
5. Don't let baby sleep in your bed, it's a horrible habit, get a bassinet if you want them close
4. Try to get on a schedule as soon as you can, (feed every 2 hours, nap, change diaper)
3. Nap when baby naps!
2. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!
1. Relax, have fun, and enjoy the cuddle time while you can!

Tips for experienced mothers:
*Take time for yourself every once and awhile, everyone need some alone time!
*Still don't be afraid to ask for help, plenty are willing to watch a cutie!
*Don't take time for granted, enjoy every minute of it!
*Single moms, don't be afraid to go on a date, you deserve it!
*Take time to go out and feel pretty, everyone needs it!
*Don't stress the little things (applies to both!!)
*Don't try to handle too much at once, take days off work if needed!

So I hope this helps a little, I am sure I am missing more but it's 1 am and I am tired... so goodnight! Go twitter @TeenMomBlog!!

Medical Corner With Heather #1

So, introductions first, hi I’m Heather-Lisa’s older sister, and Lisa has asked me to do a mini blog on some topics from readers since I’m in medical school. I have to preface this blog with I am not a medical expert on any of these topics, but I do look up your questions and answer them with evidence based medicine like your doctor should do. Also, if anything seems to be emergent please see your doctor as I do not have the whole story sometimes and cannot make a physical diagnosis. OK, now that we have that out of the way let’s discuss my favorite topic: immunizations.

            Should your child get them? A RESOUNDING YES, is the answer!! They are very important and will protect your child from some horrible viruses that used to ravage the world. Let’s talk about each immunization because knowledge is power and Jenny McCarthy is a blazing idiot.

            MMR-Measles, mumps, and rubella, what are these? These are separate viruses. Measles can get pretty nasty affecting the respiratory system but starting as a rash all over your child and moving to fever, cough, red eyes, and runny nose.  It is spread via air and is highly contagious. The fever can get up to 104, and several complications can be seen with this virus ranging from diarrhea all the way to encephalitis-inflammation of the brain! The complications become more severe the older you get as well.  Mumps is a virus that attacks the parotid gland in your cheeks and they swell up. It is very painful, and there can be swelling of the testes with males which can cause infertility in older patients. Rubella-or German measles is a virus that only lasts 3 days and is mild unless you contract it while pregnant in the first 20 weeks then your child will have serious congenital problems. Although there is a lot of controversy around this immunization the CDC has done numerous tests and this is absolutely safe to give to your child and will not cause autism!! Administering the vaccines in three separate doses does not reduce the chance of adverse effects, and it increases the opportunity for infection by the other two diseases.

            Moving right along, I will do a condensed version of the other immunizations, here is a chart showing the schedule that your child should follow:

Ok, so hepatitis B vaccine is now given to your child right at birth, why’s that you ask? Hepatitis B can cause very severe symptoms in people like lifelong infection, cirrhosis (scarring) of the liver, liver cancer, liver failure, and death. More than half of people infected with this disease show no signs or symptoms, but they may become chronic carriers of the disease and may develop liver disease or liver cancer later in life. Symptoms of HBV infection vary and may include loss of appetite, fatigue, nausea, and jaundice (yellow eyes and skin), joint pain, and skin rashes.

Worldwide, over 350 million people have chronic HBV infection, and approximately 1 million HBV patients die annually. An estimated 1.25 million people in the U.S. have chronic HBV infection. The younger the patient is when the disease is acquired, the more likely it is that he or she will develop chronic liver disease or liver cancer.

Approximately 90% of infants who are infected from their mothers at birth, and between 30 and 50% of those infected before age five, become chronic HBV carriers, while people who are newly infected as adults have only a 6 to 10% risk of chronic infection. For these reasons, hepatitis B immunizations are recommended for routine administration at birth.

DTAP-diptheria, tetanus, and pertussis are all horrible diseases as well, diptheria being another upper respiratory infection, pertussis is a whopping cough of the respiratory system and tetanus causing all the muscles of the body to contract and causes painful death. Overall, this is a wonderful vaccine that saves many lives.

            Polio=enough said, this vaccine saves your child from losing the ability to walk because the virus affects the nerves and causes paralysis.

            Hib, Haemophilus influenzae type B vaccine, is another virus that causes pneumonia, cellulitis, osteomyelitis, and bacterial meningitis. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you don’t skip this one!! (or any of them for that matter)

            So before I bore you to death if you didn’t already stop reading this, the main point is vaccines were designed by scientists for a reason: to help save lives and to stop deadly diseases from spreading. Right now we are seeing too many parents deciding not to vaccinate and their kids end up coming to the pediatrician with these symptoms and there is not much we can do for them when they already contract the virus. Please, save your child from getting these and spreading these diseases by taking them to your pediatrician to get immunized!! They are NOT causing autism; the increase in autistic children is only because it is better diagnosed now.

            Thanks for reading!

            Heather

           

Make sure you follow on twitter and facebook!!! <3 Lisa

Ear Piercing, Life After Boobs/Bottles, and Choices

So this blog is kind of a mishmash of topics that have been submitted today so I am going to try to address them all, this may get long and crazy, so bear with me... Also, in other exciting news, my sister will be writing a medical mini-blog in the next few days.... so that's exciting! Keep on the lookout for that!! So here it goes!

People who pierce their child's ears.... I already know this is controversial so, here it goes! I do not believe in piercing your children's ears until they are old enough (like 5) not to choke on them, or eat them or something scary like that. I have heard way too many horror stories of children losing the backs inside their ears, or swallowing pieces of them. Babies + sharp objects do not mix... so why would you put them in your child's body parts!! Why would you put your child through that pain when they are a baby? Ouch..... So to me, don't do it. Wait until they have a say in it, and are old enough to know not to choke on them, or be in danger from them.

Nutrition after bottles/breastfeeding: You can use the toddler formula with milk for added nutrition, or use whole milk or 2% milk. Baby food and any table food your child tolerates is just fine. Just make sure they are getting all of their food groups and you are fine! Ask your doctor or WIC office if you are concerned your child is missing out on something.

Choices... This is a tough one! Well, not really but for others yes. I was asked if my choice to keep Ashlynn was a hard one. My answer; no, not at all. I knew from the moment I was pregnant that she was mine and I loved her. (well, him or her! but I thought she was a girl!) There was never a moment where I doubted that I wanted her. I would have never put her up for adoption. For some people adoption is the best choice. If you aren't ready to give up your lifestyle or you are incapable of providing a good life for your child then sometimes adoption is the right choice. You have to weigh the choices that are right for you. Everyone is different, so meet with a counselor, and think everything through very closely. Not everybody is ready to be a parent, so consider your options.

Make sure you go follow on twitter @TeenMomBlog and on facebook "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" Thanks for reading and keep commenting and posting your topics! <3 Lisa

Keeping Your Goals & Motivation

User posted question!!! "How to stay motivated and achieving your goals" ......... YAY! This is one I have strong feelings for as I just went through this whole phase in my life!! So here it goes!

After I had Ashlynn I was easily discouraged and didn't think I would ever make it to school. I had taken a year off between graduating high school and going to college, I had applied, but I hadn't done any of the requirements, I was honestly scared to death. I was supposed to start in January '11. Due to lack of child support and the fact I had to take 3 months off for maternity leave right before, I was sooo broke I couldn't do it. I was really upset, and I kept postponing it because I was afraid of failing. I did all the easy things little by little, but when it came to my big test I was SO afraid! I had studied before I had Ashlynn, and I thought I was doomed to fail, after I had heard horror stories from my friends who had failed it. But, my mom and sister pushed me to try and just do it, and so I studied again for the week and half prior, and went into that testing center prepared to fail. I went in and it was easier then I was expecting, which was good but I was so nervous. I walked out to get my results and when the lady told me how good I did I instantly felt 1309583049584 times better!!!! Point being, set your goals high, but possible. Only allow others who support your lifestyle choices and goals be in your life; if someone is going to be a "negative nelly" in your life, REMOVE them!! You can really do anything you push yourself to do. If you believe in it, then you can make it happen. It may take time, and lots of baby steps, but you will get there one way or another! There are always going to be 3 people that believe in you: God, me, and yourself. You should never lose the faith you have in yourself because you are who you make yourself! My motto for life is "Hope, Faith, and Love" if you have all of those things, you can get anywhere and do anything. So don't give up. You've got a great team on your side :] <3 Lisa

Children's Shows...

So this is a surprise blog, that came out of the blue today, and there are some things I want to talk about that annoy me!! Children's shows.... Who comes up with these ideas?!?!?! I let Ashlynn watch Nick Jr. and some of these shows make me really angry!!! First off, "Dino Dan" that kid SEES dinosaurs.... If I were that child's mom I would be really concerned that my child is hallucinating these things, and either on meth/pot or has a brain tumor! Yet, she just goes with it... it's so messed up!! Second, "Olivia" that is one spoiled little brat pig, who does anything to get her way... why would they put that on tv?! It teaches kids horrible manners. Third, "Dora the Explorer" that show has soooo many sexual innuendo's it's insane! Some others that bother me just because they bother me are "Rescue Pets" because of the darn lispy duck, and "Peppa Pig" because they say the weirdest things and have to narrate everything that happens!! So that is just my rant for the day... enjoy!!

Build or Bust Your Child

So one of the things that drives me CRAZY is when parents insult their children!! When it's either "You're too fat" or "You look ugly like that." I get so sick of hearing stories of parents yelling at their children while they are total hypocrites!! When parents tell their children they are fat that really annoys me, its really their fault they are that way in the first place... If you don't want your child to get chubby then don't let them eat junk!!! It's really quite simple parenting, if you even care enough! Except for those parent's who call their children fat when they are really not fat at all. Like those parents who exploit their children on "Toddlers and Tiara's" that show reallllly knows how to push my buttons. Someone actually asked me if I would ever do that with Ashlynn since she is "so pretty" and I laughed in their face and asked them if they thought I was sick in the head. Even regular parents or family members who tell their kids they need to lose weight when they are skinny drives me crazy, why "bust" your child's confidence when you could be focusing on the positives about them? Build your child!! My mother has always told me that I am beautiful, smart, and wonderful even when I messed up. Even when your child makes mistakes, you have to encourage them, and love them unconditionally. Also, calling your child ugly is pretty much insulting yourself considering that they have your genes, and came from you in the first place... so that's kind of rude both ways... So think before you speak! You are building your child's future, and effecting them for the rest of their lives.

Soooooo, keep posting your topics and questions. If you aren't following on twitter, or facebook please do. Twitter (@TeenMomBlog) Facebook (The Life of a Single Teen Mom)... I removed the youtube account for awhile due to lots of drama going on... but I will keep writing. Good news, I start college in 49 days!! So exciting, Ashlynn will be 9 months on Thursday!! Yay!! So keep posting and commenting!! We are up to 323 likes on facebook! So keep sharing!! I <3 you guys!! ~Lisa~ (Ps, I enjoy exclamation marks!)