I'm back! :)

Hello faithful readers!! It's only been forever, but I am back and ready for action! My page "The life of a single teen mom" on facebook and this blog is nearing its one year "birthday".... sooo that means I want to do something super fun! I want to do a photo get together, not a contest because everyone knows how much I hate those! (haha, don't get me on that rant...) I want pictures of babies, kids (as old as your kids are!) ultrasounds, bellies, wherever you are at in your journey of motherhood! I am excited to see all of these pics! I want to share the joys of motherhood with everyone!! YAY! Ok, excitement toned down, I will be making an album on facebook and you can upload them there starting as soon as I finish writing this! On a serious note I am now going to talk about a topic someone has been messaging me about (nifty new feature where you can message me directly to the page now!) But the topic is "things I am missing out on as a young mother" (as I am no longer a teen anymore woo! for those of you who didnt know I turned 20 a little bit ago!) So here goes the things I miss and why: My biggest thing that I think I have regrets about is not going to a 4 year college, I love my school, teachers and classmates hands down but I would have liked the college campus life, of course that would have involved not having a baby to live in the dorms and such, I know most people say how bad it sucks but its just something I have always missed that I wish I could've done. Next thing would be going out and doing what I want when I want. It seems like I am always waiting around for someone to come watch her and not being able to go out on the weekends with friends, mostly because I feel guilty leaving her. I lost interest in a lot of  things that most 20 year olds are always out doing. Instead I would rather go toy shopping for her and watch her grow up and learn new things, that is what I get enjoyment out of now. That's a part of being a mom I guess (see even my negatives turn to positives). As I am writing this shes sleeping on the couch cradling her new baby doll we got to day that she proudly helped me dress and then toted around in the stroller she picked out for her! Moments like that I love and live for. She has to be the sweetest thing alive and I love her to death! I adore watching her sleep and play and learn, its the best feeling being a mother. Would I tell anyone to get pregnant as young as I did? Not a chance, while being a mother is great its also the hardest thing ever and would be much easier to do when you are older and stable with a job and money and place to live. So I hope that some of the teens who read this take it to heart and ask about birth control. In fact I am going to be doing some research on free/low cost birth control in SD. So look for that soon. I want to prevent teen pregnancy but empower and encourage those who are already pregnant or have children. So I think that I have said all that I wanted to say, I guess if not I will add more later! So thanks for a wonderful year everyone! I have enjoyed the ride and hope you all have too!

College, Mommy-hood, Pages, Oh My!

So, as MOST of you have noticed I have been sparse lately, well, this is due to the fact that I am a FULL time nursing college student and single mother, and working from home as well as trying to maintain some form of a social life! Oh, and most importantly devoting my life to serving God. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but the whole reason I began blogging and my facebook page was because of this calling that God was yelling me in the face with. To reach out, to help others, to offer advice, to be there when someone needed it. When I was younger, I had that person in my life, who saved me from myself. I no longer talk to them, I haven't for years but they really saved me. I haven't always been close to God, in fact for a very long time, I pushed him out of my life, I thought I didn't need him, I was 14, until I was about 17, I realized that I needed God to get through my pregnancy, after that, he was pushed out until about January. I didn't pull him as close as I should have until not too long before I started this page/blog. I more recently, soon before I started college, really gave my life and promise to God. He is who I work for, live for and serve for. I have gotten the complaint my page has gotten too "christian-y" but that's me now, I am not going to hide it, and in fact I'd love to guide anyone to God who is willing. It's amazing how much easier life gets when you have someone who is always by your side, no matter what you do, you will always be forgiven by God. So if anyone wants to talk to me about this, I would love to council. It's part of my new goals. As well as college, which has been eating up a good portion of my time, but the good payoff? Straight A's!! So all the time I spend burning my brain out has been paying off! Which is exciting, at least to me haha! People have been asking me how I manage everything I do? I run 2 home businesses as well, which usually get done on weekends, when Ashlynn is at her dad's and when I have a slight break from homework!! I have been working on planning my days out in advance, I set aside time for each task that needs to be completed, and I ask for help from my parents to babysit when I have extra studying to be done. Time management is key these days! When I find time for my page? It's not as much as I like and a lot of the time I check it quick on my phone between classes or over lunch, and I try my best to keep up but it doesn't always happen everyday. Right now I should be studying for anatomy and doing my workbook, but I felt I really needed to get a new message out to my readers/followers. My life is crazy, and that's what you get for being a parent at a young age, but would I change a thing? I don't think so. I love college, and I love my daughter, even when things get tough, I know I am blessed and God has my back! It's all part of a greater plan and I'm along for the ride wherever it takes me now! So don't stress, and give it to God, he's got this!! No matter how busy I am I never ignore an email, so if you feel like you need that encouragement right now, or whenever and you need somebody, EMAIL ME! I may not know you, but I am here to listen, and help the best I can! That's just me, it's what I do and who I am. I would do anything for just about anyone, so please please please email me if you need that! thelifeofasingleteenmom@gmail.com .... do it! (No pressure :P) But seriously, I am here, whenever and however I can be! I love you all! ~Lisa

Guilt

So basically all of the topics I was asked to write about, come back to the main idea of guilt. So this is what I will be talking about!!
Between working lots of hours, or going out, everyone is bound to feel guilty at some point. So I am going to break this down into 2 parts, working and going out.
Part one: Going out. EVERYONE needs to get out at some point. You can be the best mother in the world, but when you get worn down, you won't be! You won't be good to yourself or your child. You will be frustrated and easily annoyed, and little things will get to you. You need to get out, to be a better parent. Everyone needs time away from their kids to recharge. It's going to be hard, yes, but it something that needs to be done! You will have guilty feelings, I know when I go out I do. I feel like I'd rather be with Ashlynn. I think about her constantly, and text my mom to see what she is doing. But you need those moments, because if you never go out, then you never get a chance to recharge. Taking a break is normal, that's why babies have (or are intended to have) 2 parents. So if you don't have a helper, find one! You shouldn't feel guilty doing something that's going to make it better for both you and your baby/children.

Part two: Work. You have to work as a single parent. It's that simple, unless you want to live off your parents for the rest of your life. So its either working or going to school, or both. You are going to feel guilty for having to work and being away from your child for so long. I hate working 9 hour days and being gone from her, hate hate hate hateeeee it! But if you think about it, you are doing it to provide a better life for your child and to give them the things they need, so you are not a bad parent at all but in fact an excellent one. You are doing what you need to do to give your child the best life possible. You are doing more then the non existent dad is, so you should feel proud, not guilty.

I hope this helps at least a few people, I am scatterbrained tonight since I have been going off of little sleep this last week with a teething 9 month old (agggggggggggh!!) so make sure you keep posting your questions/comments/topics... I love hearing them!! <3 you all SOOO much! ~ Lisa!

How to Survive Motherhood

This is a topic that I don't have a lot to say, but what I do is important! So here are a few rules for new mom's:
10. Have everything prepared before bringing home baby, you won't have time to after!
9. Stock up on essentials, going to the store is a huge chore
8. Keep a baby book!
7. Keep up on your household chores, have someone help out if you get behind
6. Set up a morning and nighttime routine
5. Don't let baby sleep in your bed, it's a horrible habit, get a bassinet if you want them close
4. Try to get on a schedule as soon as you can, (feed every 2 hours, nap, change diaper)
3. Nap when baby naps!
2. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!
1. Relax, have fun, and enjoy the cuddle time while you can!

Tips for experienced mothers:
*Take time for yourself every once and awhile, everyone need some alone time!
*Still don't be afraid to ask for help, plenty are willing to watch a cutie!
*Don't take time for granted, enjoy every minute of it!
*Single moms, don't be afraid to go on a date, you deserve it!
*Take time to go out and feel pretty, everyone needs it!
*Don't stress the little things (applies to both!!)
*Don't try to handle too much at once, take days off work if needed!

So I hope this helps a little, I am sure I am missing more but it's 1 am and I am tired... so goodnight! Go twitter @TeenMomBlog!!

Medical Corner With Heather #1

So, introductions first, hi I’m Heather-Lisa’s older sister, and Lisa has asked me to do a mini blog on some topics from readers since I’m in medical school. I have to preface this blog with I am not a medical expert on any of these topics, but I do look up your questions and answer them with evidence based medicine like your doctor should do. Also, if anything seems to be emergent please see your doctor as I do not have the whole story sometimes and cannot make a physical diagnosis. OK, now that we have that out of the way let’s discuss my favorite topic: immunizations.

            Should your child get them? A RESOUNDING YES, is the answer!! They are very important and will protect your child from some horrible viruses that used to ravage the world. Let’s talk about each immunization because knowledge is power and Jenny McCarthy is a blazing idiot.

            MMR-Measles, mumps, and rubella, what are these? These are separate viruses. Measles can get pretty nasty affecting the respiratory system but starting as a rash all over your child and moving to fever, cough, red eyes, and runny nose.  It is spread via air and is highly contagious. The fever can get up to 104, and several complications can be seen with this virus ranging from diarrhea all the way to encephalitis-inflammation of the brain! The complications become more severe the older you get as well.  Mumps is a virus that attacks the parotid gland in your cheeks and they swell up. It is very painful, and there can be swelling of the testes with males which can cause infertility in older patients. Rubella-or German measles is a virus that only lasts 3 days and is mild unless you contract it while pregnant in the first 20 weeks then your child will have serious congenital problems. Although there is a lot of controversy around this immunization the CDC has done numerous tests and this is absolutely safe to give to your child and will not cause autism!! Administering the vaccines in three separate doses does not reduce the chance of adverse effects, and it increases the opportunity for infection by the other two diseases.

            Moving right along, I will do a condensed version of the other immunizations, here is a chart showing the schedule that your child should follow:

Ok, so hepatitis B vaccine is now given to your child right at birth, why’s that you ask? Hepatitis B can cause very severe symptoms in people like lifelong infection, cirrhosis (scarring) of the liver, liver cancer, liver failure, and death. More than half of people infected with this disease show no signs or symptoms, but they may become chronic carriers of the disease and may develop liver disease or liver cancer later in life. Symptoms of HBV infection vary and may include loss of appetite, fatigue, nausea, and jaundice (yellow eyes and skin), joint pain, and skin rashes.

Worldwide, over 350 million people have chronic HBV infection, and approximately 1 million HBV patients die annually. An estimated 1.25 million people in the U.S. have chronic HBV infection. The younger the patient is when the disease is acquired, the more likely it is that he or she will develop chronic liver disease or liver cancer.

Approximately 90% of infants who are infected from their mothers at birth, and between 30 and 50% of those infected before age five, become chronic HBV carriers, while people who are newly infected as adults have only a 6 to 10% risk of chronic infection. For these reasons, hepatitis B immunizations are recommended for routine administration at birth.

DTAP-diptheria, tetanus, and pertussis are all horrible diseases as well, diptheria being another upper respiratory infection, pertussis is a whopping cough of the respiratory system and tetanus causing all the muscles of the body to contract and causes painful death. Overall, this is a wonderful vaccine that saves many lives.

            Polio=enough said, this vaccine saves your child from losing the ability to walk because the virus affects the nerves and causes paralysis.

            Hib, Haemophilus influenzae type B vaccine, is another virus that causes pneumonia, cellulitis, osteomyelitis, and bacterial meningitis. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you don’t skip this one!! (or any of them for that matter)

            So before I bore you to death if you didn’t already stop reading this, the main point is vaccines were designed by scientists for a reason: to help save lives and to stop deadly diseases from spreading. Right now we are seeing too many parents deciding not to vaccinate and their kids end up coming to the pediatrician with these symptoms and there is not much we can do for them when they already contract the virus. Please, save your child from getting these and spreading these diseases by taking them to your pediatrician to get immunized!! They are NOT causing autism; the increase in autistic children is only because it is better diagnosed now.

            Thanks for reading!

            Heather

           

Make sure you follow on twitter and facebook!!! <3 Lisa

Ear Piercing, Life After Boobs/Bottles, and Choices

So this blog is kind of a mishmash of topics that have been submitted today so I am going to try to address them all, this may get long and crazy, so bear with me... Also, in other exciting news, my sister will be writing a medical mini-blog in the next few days.... so that's exciting! Keep on the lookout for that!! So here it goes!

People who pierce their child's ears.... I already know this is controversial so, here it goes! I do not believe in piercing your children's ears until they are old enough (like 5) not to choke on them, or eat them or something scary like that. I have heard way too many horror stories of children losing the backs inside their ears, or swallowing pieces of them. Babies + sharp objects do not mix... so why would you put them in your child's body parts!! Why would you put your child through that pain when they are a baby? Ouch..... So to me, don't do it. Wait until they have a say in it, and are old enough to know not to choke on them, or be in danger from them.

Nutrition after bottles/breastfeeding: You can use the toddler formula with milk for added nutrition, or use whole milk or 2% milk. Baby food and any table food your child tolerates is just fine. Just make sure they are getting all of their food groups and you are fine! Ask your doctor or WIC office if you are concerned your child is missing out on something.

Choices... This is a tough one! Well, not really but for others yes. I was asked if my choice to keep Ashlynn was a hard one. My answer; no, not at all. I knew from the moment I was pregnant that she was mine and I loved her. (well, him or her! but I thought she was a girl!) There was never a moment where I doubted that I wanted her. I would have never put her up for adoption. For some people adoption is the best choice. If you aren't ready to give up your lifestyle or you are incapable of providing a good life for your child then sometimes adoption is the right choice. You have to weigh the choices that are right for you. Everyone is different, so meet with a counselor, and think everything through very closely. Not everybody is ready to be a parent, so consider your options.

Make sure you go follow on twitter @TeenMomBlog and on facebook "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" Thanks for reading and keep commenting and posting your topics! <3 Lisa

Keeping Your Goals & Motivation

User posted question!!! "How to stay motivated and achieving your goals" ......... YAY! This is one I have strong feelings for as I just went through this whole phase in my life!! So here it goes!

After I had Ashlynn I was easily discouraged and didn't think I would ever make it to school. I had taken a year off between graduating high school and going to college, I had applied, but I hadn't done any of the requirements, I was honestly scared to death. I was supposed to start in January '11. Due to lack of child support and the fact I had to take 3 months off for maternity leave right before, I was sooo broke I couldn't do it. I was really upset, and I kept postponing it because I was afraid of failing. I did all the easy things little by little, but when it came to my big test I was SO afraid! I had studied before I had Ashlynn, and I thought I was doomed to fail, after I had heard horror stories from my friends who had failed it. But, my mom and sister pushed me to try and just do it, and so I studied again for the week and half prior, and went into that testing center prepared to fail. I went in and it was easier then I was expecting, which was good but I was so nervous. I walked out to get my results and when the lady told me how good I did I instantly felt 1309583049584 times better!!!! Point being, set your goals high, but possible. Only allow others who support your lifestyle choices and goals be in your life; if someone is going to be a "negative nelly" in your life, REMOVE them!! You can really do anything you push yourself to do. If you believe in it, then you can make it happen. It may take time, and lots of baby steps, but you will get there one way or another! There are always going to be 3 people that believe in you: God, me, and yourself. You should never lose the faith you have in yourself because you are who you make yourself! My motto for life is "Hope, Faith, and Love" if you have all of those things, you can get anywhere and do anything. So don't give up. You've got a great team on your side :] <3 Lisa