So this blog is mostly responding to questions that I have been getting.... WARNING: This blog is pretty diverse so if you want to chew me out for reading it, then DON'T read it!!!
Topic 1: Boyfriends while pregnant. I was asked by a user if I think having a boyfriend while being pregnant who is NOT the father is ok. My response; yes. I do think that having a stable male in your life to support you while you are going through this extremely emotional time is perfectly ok. As long as he is helping you, emotionally, and not causing more drama in the relationship/your life I think it's a great idea. I wish that I could have had someone to depend on while I was pregnant. If he is willing to step in and take the father role and be financially there for you then more power to him! That is, if the biological father wants nothing to do with the child, if he does then I don't advise the new man being called "daddy." Why people think that you MUST be with the biological father no matter how crappy they are is beyond my knowledge (yes, I had a lady tell me I "HAD" to be with him because he is the father... how messed up is that!?) Obviously I did not take her advice and after Ashlynn was 3 months old I started to see other guys. I did not date while I was pregnant only because I was trying to work it out with her father at the time, and I did not find anyone who seemed decent enough to be with at the time. Am I glad I moved on and started seeing someone new? Yes, I don't believe anyone should be forced to stay with the father if he is not doing anything good for either of your lives.
Topic 2: Partying. Oh my goodness... this is one topic that sets me off the deep end. Teen mom's who go out and party ILLEGALLY all the time!! I know one girl who had a baby right around the time I did who is my age and about 90% of the time she isn't at work she is partying and ditches her child off with her mother and sister. That DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I understand getting out and needing some free time, but partying all the time is just plain stupid. It's like ASKING to get your child taken away. If you get caught in possession or with a DUI you are automatically in BIG trouble especially if the dad wants custody/rights. You choose to have this child, and to have sex (there is always adoption) so if you don't feel like you want to be a mom other then when it's convenient for you, choose adoption!! That child deserves to have a mom/dad that actually wants to spend time with them. So to sum up, going out and having some free time is ok; partying, especially underage, is not.
Topic 3: Religion. Yet another diverse subject. My main point here is going to be raising a child with two separated parents who have different ideas of religion. So in my family, we are huge Christians and that's the way I was raised my whole life, Sunday school EVERY Sunday. Her father on the other had, has never been baptized and started going to youth group on Wednesday nights a few months ago, other than that has stepped foot in church on rare occasion. I want to bring her up Christian with good values, so hopefully as time progresses he will support me in that. I am not implying that any of you need to have religious views or believe what I believe, this is just a question I was asked. I don't care honestly if you believe in God, or whatever else, this is just what I believe, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
I'd like to make a special side note that I am engaged, however we live currently in different states and don't get to see much of each other right now due to current working situations. He is not the father, and we met after Ashlynn was born. He is financially supportive of us as much as he can be, and he does love Ashlynn as well. I do believe it is ok to move on from the father to someone who loves and respects you.
Okay peeps! Post your questions/comments/concerns/new blog topics here or on my facebook page "The Life of a Single Teen Mom" looking forward to the responses from this one! (Sorry it took so long I worked a total of 22 hours this weekend, BLAH!) Give me some topics to rant and I will try to post another one tomorrow (Monday)!
I realize that it is not always easy to listen to what people have to say when it isn't quite what you want to hear. But maybe this comment will be good for one of your readers. If you're going to give advice then you need to be open to some criticism and learn how to respond in ways that will HELP your followers...isn't that what your intentions were?
ReplyDeleteNot sure if I quite understand, but I do know that God doesn't care if you were raised to go to church EVERY Sunday...but he DOES care that someone is teaching that little one right from wrong, without lies and deception mixed in, and that someday she will know the Lord Jesus Christ. God wants us to open our heart to Him. It doesn't matter WHEN that happens....just that IT DOES. I commend the fact that Ashlynn's father is NOW going to youth group. I pray that God reaches him and works through him to reach Ashlynn. We don't always understand everything that happens to us but God sees the WHOLE picture and we just have to trust that everything is for a specific reason and is part of an intricate, beautiful, woven plan of God. Including the fact that Ashlynn is here today despite the fact that you had said that you had wished that you would of left your pants on. The reason she is here is much bigger than that. And that just might include bringing you and her father both to the One that makes sense of all this.....our Savior, Jesus.
I am not trying to delete your post to be rude and it's not that I can't take criticism, I am very close with God actually, thank you. However I blog for EVERYONE, not just for a specific religion. This is meant to reach out to all, not just chrisitians, and by doing so I leave those parts out a lot, to help everyone, not just a specific group. Not trying to offend, but I also try not to offend my readers.
ReplyDeleteThere really is no offensives taken, in either direction I assume, but it wasn't meant to be about different religions either. It was simply posted to let you know and others that Ashlynn is here for a bigger story...this isn't just all about you. I would imagine how you could understand that. People will post many different thoughts and ideas on here. Just be ready for them because, in reality, you may learn from them too....if your heart is open and willing to listen. Your daughter is beautiful and it sounds like you and maybe even the father is doing good things for her and is also learning as she grows. Don't be too quick to downplay the father. I don't know either of you but I do know that you are both working on a new friendship...as one of your posts says, then you will need to be honest about that and give him a fair chance to be the best father he can be. Don't give advice to your readers and new teenage moms that biological fathers have no rights. Because they do until they prove otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI understand that she is a huge blessing from God. I know that she was given to me for a reason. I don't recall ever saying that they have no rights... they don't have them unless they claim them though. I do not post all of the things he has done and continues to do out of respect, but there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes that is very disrespectful on his part as well as immature. I have been getting other opinions, not on here, but in other forms such as email, etc. So I am not stuck in my own opinion, everyone is entitled to their own, but until they know my exact situation, they don't get to have one about me. I do realize a lot of other things, I just don't write everything I think on here, or I would be writing for days :D
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